I (Still) Want Your sex: The Sun & George Michael’s privates

In case you thought I was jok­ing when I wrote about the gen­tle­men of the British press being unable to leave George Michael’s penis alone, today’s Sun news­pa­per, twis­ted sis­ter tabloid to the News of the World scan­dal sheet that ran the ori­ginal front page Hampstead Heath expose, provides fur­ther, lurid proof of the ser­i­ous­ness of their pas­sion­ate fascination.

In a tor­rid piece snap­pily titled ‘Are there no depths George won’t plumb in pur­suit of lust?’ by Kelvin Mackenzie, a former editor of the best-selling paper, and legendary fig­ure in the world of tabloid news­pa­pers, we learn that it isn’t just his penis that they can’t leave alone. It’s also his balls.

I can’t stand George Michael,’ McKenzie informs us, ‘and every time he tries to laugh off another vile gay sex exploit I dis­like him a little more…’

Oh, come now, the lady doth protest too much. Go on, admit it, Kelvin, you love him!

Mackenzie goes on to whine at length about how he is per­son­ally affron­ted and dis­gus­ted by the fact that George Micheal can have no-strings sex when he wants it — for free — and, even worse, that his part­ner doesn’t mind. All in all, it is quite insuf­fer­able, isn’t it? Well, it is if you look like Kelvin Mackenzie.

Alas, sexual jeal­ousy can be an ugly, viol­ent, even mur­der­ous thing.  Amplifying and in fact spelling out the NOTW’s crim­inal incite­ment fantasy about Michael hav­ing ‘his throat cut’, Mackenzie writes:

… one day I sus­pect Michael will come a ter­rible crop­per pur­su­ing his sexu­al­ity.  There are some nasty people around.’

Indeed there are, Kelvin.

A few para­graphs later, at the end of the piece we dis­cover where those nasty people are. And they’re not on Hampstead Heath. They’re writ­ing for The Sun:

Personally, I’d like to give him a good kick in the balls.  Unfortunately he’d prob­ably enjoy it.’

But not as much as you do writ­ing about his privates, Kelvin.

Mackenzie has a lot of pre­vi­ous in this area. He’s a bit of a gay sex pest.  Actually, he’s a major gay sex pest. He was after all the editor of The Sun dur­ing it’s ‘hey­day’ in the Eighties, when it was utterly obsessed with gay men and their sex-lives and did its best to whip up hatred for homos — give them ‘a good kick­ing in the balls’ — and por­tray AIDS as a ‘gay plague’ which queers richly deserved because of their promiscuity.

Because, in other words, they were hav­ing too much fun.

Yes, there are some really nasty people around.

4 thoughts on “I (Still) Want Your sex: The Sun & George Michael’s privates

  1. Plus the redtops have never for­given wee Geo for the fact they danced to his songs and tried unsuc­cess­fully to pull birds to them at school dis­cos in the 80s…and then he came out as gay and they seemed poofy by proxy…and he gets way more action than they do. No won­der he is hated by them!

  2. And how did your pal know it was George Michael if he was wear­ing a hel­met? Is he sure it wasn’t Kelvin Mackenzie?

  3. I have a friend who answered a con­tact ad, many years ago, which advert­ised the oppor­tun­ity to have sex with a man who described him­self as “Regents Park Bi”. The man turned up, wear­ing a motor­cycle hel­met, which he refused to remove dur­ing what the Sun would describe as “the sex act”.

    It was, of course, George Michael.

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