This example of revenge sporno from last year seems to have slipped through my fingers.…
‘Top’ Dutch footballer and former Aston Villa goalie Stefan Postma was a tad embarrassed last year to find a home-made video of himself enthusiastically bottoming — that’s to say, taking it up the Arsenal — plastered all over the ‘net’.
The chap doing the ‘scoring’? Well, it was actually an (embittered) ex lady friend with a strapadicktome.
I suspect that a lot of Postma’s, er, discomfort was down to the fact that he had allegedly spent a great deal of money outbidding a British tabloid for a copy of the tape. Maybe sportsmen would be better advised to sell their embarrassing home-made porn themselves.
In this spornographic age it’s going to get out there anyway. And at least if they put it out there themselves they’ll make money out of it rather than spunk it away fruitlessly trying to keep it under wraps. Most importantly, they’ll be able to make sure its edited in a flattering fashion. Clinching the matter, this kind of starring role does make you rather more famous: I for one had never heard of Stefan Postma before. Now I’m one of his greatest admirers.
Though probably if sportsmen want to maximise sales they should pretend the clips were released without their consent.
Much was made in the British media of the ‘bizarre’ nature of the ‘kinky sex’ depicted. But why is it so strange that a straight man should want to get shagged up the arse? After all, as I like to say, especially to straight men I fancy, if God hadn’t wanted men to get bummed he wouldn’t have given them prostate glands. A very convincing and attractive transsexual pal who went through a great deal of pain, trouble and expense to have the ‘op’ tells me that the first thing that straight men ask her once she’s told them she used to be a geezer is: “Will you shag me up the arse with a dildo??” If she agrees, the next question is invariably: “What’s the biggest one you’ve got??”
Probably the most shocking thing for football fans though is how clearly and audibly Stefan is enjoying being ploughed, and watching himself being ploughed in the mirror — and, no doubt, afterwards in the video, repeatedly. Some of them will be thinking: ‘He seems to be enjoying taking that a lot more than I do giving it.’ Traditional heterosexuality’s rigid, or sometimes semi-erect, sexual division of labour depends on men not thinking too much about whether they’re getting a bum deal.
Or women. Interesting that no one seems to have considered that the lady friend in the video might be enjoying it too. She certainly sounds like it. For all we know, it might have been her idea. There are a lot of naughty ladies out there who don’t just lie back and think of Sunderland. And not all of them are transsexual.
Now, after all those words, here’s what you really wanted: a clip of that strap-on video (NSFW).