The electric rim-chair and heterosodomy


Here’s a ‘cheeky’ cor­por­ate site extolling the bene­fits of rim­ming — how it can make every day a clean and happy day, for everyone!

Initially, you’re presen­ted with a row of appet­ising male and female bums with smi­ley faces drawn on them, happy mouth dir­ectly over bum­hole. Then the bums change into appet­ising smi­ley faces. Which one would you like to sit on?totoface.JPG

Personally, I think the perky dark-haired man, third along looks like he has a very com­fort­able face. Since he does most of the talk­ing, we know his tongue works just fine. I won­der how warm and invig­or­at­ing his pulsing spray action is? As the site tells us, ‘every­one deserves to be pampered’. In the interests of equal-opps I should say the women look quite comfy too — though I worry slightly about the second lady from the left’s large teeth.

Alas, none of these fresh-faced, grin­ning rim­mers are avail­able for pur­chase. Instead, you have to make do with the ‘Washlet’, an auto­matic, Japanese-made rim-chair that you attach to your toi­let and oper­ate the warm water spray and dry­ing air jet by remote con­trol. It’s prob­ably not as much fun as an eager tongue, and is any­way offi­cially meant to be only used as a way of improv­ing bot­tom hygeine, but it might make it more likely you’ll actu­ally get to feel one.

moons1.jpgEither way the Washlet, which has just been squir­ted in the face of an unsus­pect­ing US pub­lic, will def­in­itely help to put Americans, male and female, even more in touch with their anality.

The main­stream interest in bum love has become so pro­nounced of late that New York Magazine and Details have noticed it — five years after I poin­ted out on the pop­ular­ity of het­eros­od­omy and how it had become the ‘unholy grail of met­ro­sexual sex’. (Perhaps coin­cid­ent­ally, Washlet are now heav­ily advert­ising on Salon.)

Anal play might still be unholy, but, thanks to the Washlet, it’s now clean and happy!

(Can I have my fee now?)

2 thoughts on “The electric rim-chair and heterosodomy”

  1. Yes, the ‘self-cleansing wand’ does look more than a little like the drip­ping pneu­matic jaws of the creature in ‘Alien’. I’m not sure I would want to expose my botty to that either.

    On the other hand, it’s a new-fangled gad­get that makes hav­ing a shit a hi-tech elec­tronic exper­i­ence — and it makes you clean in ways you’d never real­ised you were dirty before.

    How more American can you get than that?

  2. Americans — will fear that phal­lic — telec­sop­ing “cleans­ing wand”. They can not have any­thing like that in their ter­ror­ist pro­hib­it­ing “safety pil­lar” way. I don’t think they will sud­denly take to hav­ing a phal­lus extend from their toi­let seat and spray them with water. Sounds a bit too much like actual anal “raw” sex — although the sheer hypo­crisy of it, some­thing that feels dirty which is actu­ally cleans­ing — might appeal to some.

    The Phalliban will rise up against this, they will see it as a gay­ing of American bot­toms. We must pro­tect the bums of the USA — this is clearly an inva­sion against our most sac­red Port.

    However I want one…the whole cata­lytic con­verter bit had me…

Comments are closed.