October 21st, 2007
Porno Prison Rape (aka Ultimate Fighting)
When it comes to mainstream or traditional sports the US is, compared to Europe, South America and Australia, somewhat resistant to Sporno - rather coy about strutting its stuff. Nonetheless, the US is home to specialist, completely non-coy S&M Sporno.
Say hello to Ultimate Fighting/Mixed Martial Arts, a new - and ferociously violent - sport from the USA in which two hyper-fit pleasingly muscled young men in Speedos grapple in a cage in positions that Chi Chi La Rue might blush at. Though in Ultimate Fighting, everyone fights for top.
Or maybe they’re just very feisty bottoms.
Unlike rugby or football, MMA doesn’t use Sporno to make itself more marketable or mediagenic - MMA simply is Sporno. Hardcore Sporno. Yes, I know, my filthy mind is working overtime again. But that doesn’t mean that UF isn’t filthy too.
MMA is also rapidly becoming very popular with spunky lads in the UK - earlier this year I attended a local ‘cage fight’ as a mate of mine was competing. The atmosphere was, as they say, heavy with testosterone - so I breathed deeply. And the short-haired thick-necked lads in the audience shouting ‘GWORRN!! STICK IT TO ‘IM, STEVIE!!’ certainly added the sense of excitement.
But since most of the ‘action’ in MMA is on the mat (the combatants are usually only on their feet for the first few seconds because the main objective seems to be getting your opponent’s heels behind his ears) I found myself slightly frustrated by the ‘live’ experience watching from beside the ring: most of the time I could see bugger all.
This sport isn’t really meant to be watched in the flesh. It’s designed to be consumed in the privacy of your own bedroom via voracious multiple-angle telephoto video camera lenses with a pause and rewind function. Enjoy.
(I don’t know about you, but I think the ref in this clip is getting in the way deliberately.)
Tip: Richard
October 21st, 2007 at 4:36 pm
Im sure that because they are beating each other to a pulp, rather than flower arranging, its considered 100% straight by the participants and audience. It looks to me like the male equivalent of all female mud wrestling! GAY.
October 21st, 2007 at 5:14 pm
“I think he’s going to rear up here”
October 21st, 2007 at 7:38 pm
“…more punishing than any blow you could offer.”
October 21st, 2007 at 8:56 pm
I’m glad someone actually listened to the commentary. I was somewhat preoccupied….
Rovex: you’re right, of course. For straight lads, violence seems to ward off any possibility of homo-ness. As if sex and aggression weren’t intimately related. Homo-ness is ‘weakness’ - so by definition a man who fights, even in Speedos with his arse in the air flexing his muscles while the camera zooms in, can’t be homo.
So long as it means they put on this kind of show for us, let them think that bumming is all about flower-arranging.
October 22nd, 2007 at 6:33 pm
I’ve been told that there’s a scene in Britain where allegedly straight men do naked wrestling with each other in hotel rooms. What d’you reckon?
October 22nd, 2007 at 6:36 pm
Yes, its called Premier League Football..
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:29 am
What hotel? What room number?
October 24th, 2007 at 3:15 am
I thought it was rather boring to watch. Bring back the nude Greek wrestlers. Or the mud wreatling in those English pubs where you have to rip off the other guy’s jockstrap before you were declared the winner. That still going strong?
November 17th, 2007 at 5:27 pm
[...] he’ll throw him in the cage and make him do a few rounds of Ultimate Fighting. Share This Posted in advertising, metrosexual [...]
November 26th, 2007 at 4:43 pm
[...] 2007 by Michael Crawford A few days after a wrote my post Gayest. Sport. Ever. I came across a post by Mark Simpson about the implicit homoeroticism in sports made explicit in ultimate fighting. Say hello to [...]
November 27th, 2007 at 1:23 pm
[...] But why wait until they’re sharing a prison cell? Why not do it ‘in the ring’ - like they do in Ultimate Fighting? [...]
November 28th, 2007 at 12:07 am
I find it very offensive you compare prison rape to competitive fighting. Rape is a very serious issue which is extremely traumatising to it’s victims, particularly when you are living with your rapists, and don’t have access to any proper support system. Where you have to worry ever day and night what would happen to you.
November 28th, 2007 at 1:00 pm
I’m sorry you find the comparison of Ultimate Fighting with PORNO prison rape ‘very offensive’. I suspect you may be being slightly too literal.