Melts in Your Mouth: Eminem’s Shady Sexuality

eminem2r2ck Melts in Your Mouth: Eminems Shady Sexuality

By Mark Simp­son, (Nerve.com, Feb­ru­ary 22, 2001)

Eminem, aka Mar­shall Math­ers, may have won only a few con­so­la­tion prizes at the Gram­mys yes­ter­day [2001], but clearly the white rap­per behind “The Mar­shall Math­ers LP” has cre­ated the Album of the Year in every other sense. Em is the hottest prop­erty not just in the music busi­ness, but in pop cul­ture itself, and, like Big Gay Al, aka Elton John, who sang a duet with him on stage, no one — the fans, the press, the crit­ics, the police, the Vice President’s wife — can leave him alone.

Espe­cially, of course, the gay rights activists, two hun­dred of whom pick­eted the Sta­ples Cen­ter in protest at his “vio­lently homo­pho­bic lyrics” (and what they saw as gay Elton’s “betrayal”).

After­wards, the Gay and Les­bian Alliance Against Defama­tion solemnly expressed “grat­i­tude” that Em was not awarded Album of the Year, but com­plained that the three minor Gram­mys awarded Eminem showed that “Acad­emy mem­bers were will­ing to place their stamp of approval on lyrics that pro­mote hate, prej­u­dice and violence.”

Amen. But the rather impor­tant point that the pro­tes­tors appear to have over­looked is, Sure, Em’s music is vio­lently homo­pho­bic. It also hap­pens to be vio­lently homo­sex­ual. The two facts are not nec­es­sar­ily in con­tra­dic­tion of each other. Actu­ally, in the world beyond the Care Bear sex­u­al­ity of GLAAD, they’re insep­a­ra­ble. It might even be the case that the Grammy didn’t go to Em pre­cisely because his lyrics are too queer.

To under­stand this you just have to pay atten­tion to the music instead of the press releases. Sodomy never sounded so seduc­tive, or sedi­tious. When fel­low Detroit rap­ping duo Insane Clown Posse ‘wit­tily’ renamed Slim Shady “Slim Anus” on their last album, the squeaky blond bomb­shell responded quickly and explic­itly. “Slim Anus? You damn right Slim Anus / I don’t get fucked in mine like you two lit­tle flamin’ fag­gots,” he retorts on a track on “Mar­shall Math­ers,” the CD that lost the Grammy. But then in the track “Ken Kan­iff,” he all-too-enthusiastically imper­son­ates the voices of the ICP front­men engag­ing in lip-smacking fel­la­tio com­plete with very con­vinc­ing grunts and groans and backed by cheesy porno Muzak: “Fuck yeah! Suck it! That’s good!” (ICP have since placed a down­load­able track on their web­site fea­tur­ing an Eminem-on-poppers-soundalike get­ting reamed by his hip-hop pro­ducer, Dr. Dre.)

Am I the only one who got aroused by all this “homo­pho­bia”? I sus­pect not. After all, sodomy — and graphic sodomy at that — is really the only sex you’ll find on Em’s record-selling CD, whether in the form of invi­ta­tions to the lis­tener to “suck my fuck­ing dick, you fuck­ing fag­got” or dis­miss­ing his crit­ics as bit­ter queens: “He’s just aggra­vated because I won’t ejac­u­late in his ass.” If Em really is the “New Elvis,” it seems that “Jail­house Rock” is his start­ing point (which would at least explain his prison punk look). Even when he leaves the vio­lent sodomy alone for a moment and turns to romance, it’s of a rather queer kind, as in the hit sin­gle “Stan,” in which a fan sends a series of unre­quited love let­ters to his rap-star hero — the song Eminem chose to duet with Elton John with at the Grammys.

Em him­self “comes out” and acknowl­edges his obsession/passion in another skit on “Mar­shall Math­ers” in which a furi­ous record exec com­plains that he can’t sell his records because instead of rap­ping about his wide-screen TV, Eminem is “rap­ping about homo­sex­u­als!” (Of course, the joke here is that Eminem’s records “about homo­sex­u­als” could hardly sell better.)

Now, if all this “fuckin’ homo” stuff seems ado­les­cent, that’s prob­a­bly because it is. It’s meant to be. Ado­les­cence is a time of hor­monal anx­i­ety about iden­tity for boys, but nowa­days it’s not just a phase, it’s a career. And what is it that boys are sup­posed to grow into these days? Mas­cu­line cer­tain­ties have van­ished, in many cases, along with dad, fam­ily and blue-collar jobs. The only cer­tainty left to bas­tard boys like this is that they are “not a fag.” It’s a neg­a­tive iden­tity that can’t sus­tain a sense of self, let alone sus­tain one in a world which has made boys use­less — i.e. fag­gots — by mak­ing mature mas­culin­ity redundant.

Rapismo like Eminem’s artic­u­lates that frus­tra­tion, then soothes the anx­i­ety the artic­u­la­tion pro­duces. Eminem’s own story (now the stuff of leg­end) is instruc­tive. A poor, pretty, blue-eyed white boy grow­ing up in a depressed black area of Detroit with­out a dad, he left the house the def­i­n­i­tion of “dif­fer­ent.” He claims that he was neglected by his mother, which she vig­or­ously dis­putes. Per­haps the truth is that, like many sons of sin­gle moth­ers, he was spoilt and fussed over and then ended up hat­ing his mother for turn­ing him into a sissy: “I used to be mommy’s lit­tle angel at twelve” he sings in “I’m Back.”

To avoid com­plete emas­cu­la­tion, he rebelled against his mother and chose to be fathered by pop cul­ture, in the form of hip-hop and the humon­gous phal­lus of black street cul­ture. To Eminem (and other “shady” white boys of uncer­tain pater­nity from bet­ter homes) the world seems like a post-feminist night­mare where Mom is the law — and polit­i­cal cor­rect­ness is merely “wash your mouth out with soap” writ large. He’s South Park’s Kyle, ten years down the line plus plenty of drugs and dis­ap­point­ment. In this world, homo­sex­u­al­ity isn’t only emas­cu­la­tion and weak­ness, it’s also the ulti­mate machismo, and the ulti­mate rebel­lion against “bitches” — as well as a con­tra­dic­tory solu­tion to the prob­lem of being father­less, eas­ing as it does the ache for male inti­macy. But eas­ing that ache means acknowl­edg­ing it. And that means weak­ness. So homo­sex­u­al­ity has to be con­stantly “stabbed in the head,” to use one of Em’s more infa­mous lines, even as it is con­stantly being evoked.

Every stab just leads to another tar­get. After all, homos are every­where nowa­days in pop cul­ture. And the bla­tancy of male pas­siv­ity in a world where males are sex objects only makes this “stab­bing” more imper­a­tive — even when you’re not, like Eminem, a pretty bottle-blond boy with “cock-sucking lips” (to quote ICP) and more than a pass­ing inter­est in hav­ing your pic­ture taken. “All I see is sissies in mag­a­zines smilin’” groans Eminem. “Star­ing at my jeans, watch­ing my gen­i­tals bulging / (Ooh!) That’s my moth­er­fuck­ing balls, you’d bet­ter let go of ‘em / They belong in my scro­tum, you’ll never get hold of ‘em.” Look at the pic­tures of him in his book Angry Blonde (inter­est­ing spelling, that), skim past the one of him in blond pig­tails to the ones where he is sur­rounded by a crowd of Shady clones look­ing at him with shin­ing, hun­gry eyes. Has pop cul­ture ever looked more dis­turbingly queer?

Slim Shady is famously a char­ac­ter Em invented to express his “dark thoughts.” But maybe Slim is him­self just a screen. This is not to say that Mr. Math­ers is “really gay” (just as he clearly isn’t “really straight”), but just “really fucked up.” Per­haps the “real” Em is as neu­rotic, mother-identified/mother-hating, home­less, vul­ner­a­ble, nar­cis­sis­tic and pas­sive (aggres­sive) as the lyrics and the pic­ture of him on his album cover sug­gest. In other words, all the things that make a great star, from Elvis to Lennon to Cobain.

And, alas, he’s all the things that can make young men these days who will never be stars sad and sullen, and some­times sui­ci­dal. A seventeen-year-old white Eminem fan in Devon, Eng­land recently threw him­self in front of a train. Appar­ently he was depressed by the “diss­ing” he’d expe­ri­enced from friends after a gay boy said he fan­cied him at a party. The lib­eral coro­ner thought the lad’s anx­i­eties fool­ish and mis­placed: “He appears to have been unusu­ally wor­ried over his sex­ual ori­en­ta­tion which really should not affect peo­ple a great deal either way.”

Maybe. But Eminem and the sex­u­ally shady, not to say con­fused, world of white hip-hop show that such a pre­oc­cu­pa­tion is any­thing but triv­ial for many boys today. It’s all they have left.

Copy­right Mark Simp­son 2008

27 Comments

  • This sounds just like the spat i had on youtube with anti­gay fools, suck­ing cock isn’t straight or gay, all men want to be sucked, i am gay guy, not camp or quee­nie, a lad gay, gay sex for me is cock­suck­ing, all men want it, in fact straight men have come on to me, because of being straight atti­tude but love cock, any guy bangs on about it has won­dered about it, any­one anti­gay is because he knows, he would let guy suck him off, right envi­ro­ment, when sucked right, it’s fuck­ing amaz­ing, i love it. men want sucking.

  • vaguelyhumanoid wrote:

    That was really insightful.

  • Oh my.

    I was about to post this link about Eminem and Rhianna’s new song, which fea­tures a rela­tion­ship that includes vio­lence. Its been picked up by fem­i­nists, because I think they enjoy Eminem-bashing, and now they have Rhianna’s actual domes­tic vio­lence expe­ri­ence to use as part of their weaponry against him.

    Then I saw the com­ments above. I hope I don’t kick things off again…

    http://genderacrossborders.com/2010/07/28/eminem-rihanna-and-domestic-violence-how-eminem-almost-tricked-me-again/#comment-4304

    There is one very good com­ment in amongst the nor­mal semiotics-lite (not mine, by some­one called ‘b’). Maybe it is Eminem’s ‘boyfriend’…

  • Eminem is a tal­ent­less hip hop artist who is a total sell­out and while he’s cer­tainly not gay or bisex­ual he does have one thing in com­mon with the so called gay/GLBT com­mu­nity and cul­ture that don’t really exist and that’s a mass drive of con­for­mity and con­sumerism just like most gay men these days seem to have.

  • My ver­dict: I don’t think Eminem is gay at all but just one com­pletely fucked up dude in the head. He obvi­ously is insane as his track on the relapse implies. Parental neglect (his mother) and abuse (molested by step­fa­ther) cou­pled with his envi­ron­ment (rough and gritty inner city of Detroit), mar­i­tal prob­lems (his wife Kim and daugh­ter Hai­ley), and drug addic­tion (cocaine, weed, all types of pills) equals one really messed up guy. But whether he’s gay or straight, he’s skilled at the rap game and that’s what mat­ters. He brings in the bacon.

  • Lots of anger over a sim­ple point of view. A) This Mark guy can say what­ever the fuck he wants. It’s the inter­net. B) Scoot man, lmao. You act like there’s a writ­ten law against there being more than one white rap­per. Maybe you are gay. Jeal­ous that your dream­boat got famous and now that he’s out of your league…

    Who knows, Eminem could very well be gay (Not that it mat­ters, but hey). Who are you all to say he’s not? Even if he is, he is one rich fudge-packer.

  • shut the fuck up u mother fuck­ers. eminem is an asslick­ing fag­got. his only audi­ence is fuck­ing 12 year olds who like to hear the word fuck. hes a lit­tle pussy who wants to act badass pre­tend­ing he has had a ter­ri­ble child­hood. hes one of the biggest sell outs in fuck­ing music his­tory, so shut the fuck up. dont defend some­one who pre­tends to hate you. idk how he got as famous as he did. “OMG A WHYTE RAPPER, JEEZUMMSS!”. fuck­ing christ. vanilla ice beat him to it. so hes got fuck­ing noth­ing. even ICP beat him to it. so all u lit­tle fan­boys can go cum in ur pants to “im the real slim shady”. just dont post your fuck­ing un-dieing love to eminem and go pre­tend you have some­thing bet­ter to do with your time.

  • […] As this bil­ious piece of mine below from 2003 shows, the ‘New Elvis’ turned into the old ‘Old Elvis’ some time ago. (And if you want to under­stand my dis­ap­point­ment, read this.) […]

  • Also on another note. I don’t believe Eminem is gay. I am gay so I know a gay guy. Eminem is way too close minded to even con­sider it and if Eminem were gay… I would go straight because I refuse to have the same ori­en­ta­tion as that mis­guided prick

  • I think it is a lit­tle dis­torted that most of the insults on this board are “fag­got, cock­sucker, etc.” I do believe that soci­ety has got­ten too used to using these terms as casual insults, And as a homo­sex­ual I do find them offen­sive. Eminem sucks kthnx bye

  • […] groupie who came to promi­nence around the same time as Ritchie in the early Noughties, the homo­pho­bia in his work seems like a kind of highly con­flicted and there­fore highly erotic homophilia…or even homo­ma­nia — lit­er­ally being unable to stop think­ing and talk­ing about bum­ming and […]

  • Now, now, you’re really get­ting a lit­tle too hys­ter­i­cal and abu­sive. It’s still enor­mously enter­tain­ing, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to pull the plug on you — for your own safety.

    Oh, and by the way: Eminem isn’t my type. Too gay.

  • shadygal wrote:

    Okay, you really do want to beef this out don’t you?
    If anyone’s con­fused then it’s you, you fuck­ing prick! Your really con­fused aren’t you, even for a GAY per­son! Any­ways you prob­a­bly con­vinced your­self sooo much that eminem’s gay that you prob­a­bly believe it in your sick gay mind, don’t you! Any­ways even if you didn’t say that eminem was gay you still implied it, which is stu­pid and I’m just sim­ply defend­ing eminem by say­ing that I don’t think that he’s gay! And if I some­how proved your point in your mind then good for you, I hope your fuck­ing happy, because loads of peo­ple will sooo dis­agree with you and your dum­b­ass jabs at men that you wanna believe are gay, so you can go and jack off to that image!

    Fuck­ing end of!

  • It seems you’re very, very con­fused. Even for an Eminem fan.

    But thanks for your input, and prov­ing my point. If it needed to be proved.

  • shadygal wrote:

    No I never read it that way, you fuck­ing cock­sucker!
    I read it and actu­ally thought about it! I, myself have actu­ally thought of eminem as gay at times but then I’ve seen loads of straight boys act and talk like him, plus he just prob­a­bly acts like that to be funny which he is! Any­ways he doesn’t really seem gay to me just a bit crazy at times! And for your fuck­ing info, he does not sound and look gayer than JT, because for one JT sounds much more like a girl, if you haven’t noticed then I sug­gest hear­ing aids or maybe you can clean your ears? And JT looks gayer and acts gayer, have you seen him in alpha dog? and in his music videos? yeh my fuck­ing point proven! any­ways as I will say again, which you ignored is I am not try­ing to argue with you I’m just try­ing to give my opin­ion which seems more believ­able then eminem’s gay!

  • I didn’t say he was gay. Inter­est­ing that you and other Eminem fans read it that way when you’re so sure of his sexuality.

    But now that you men­tion it, he looks and sounds and acts way gayer than Justin Timberlake.

  • shadygal wrote:

    sorry I met nysnc not nyscn,lol

  • shadygal wrote:

    Hey, I’m not try­ing to argue with you or any­thing but don’t you think that it’s a bit stu­pid to call eminem gay? He was mar­ried and divorced to Kim numer­ous times, he has a daugh­ter and he had numer­ous rela­tion­ships with other female celebs like Mariah Carey and Brit­tany Mur­phy, so I kinda know for a fact that eminem isn’t gay, so please just stop jump­ing to con­clu­sions when you really haven’t got a fuck­ing clue!
    Eminem is prob­a­bly one of the straight­est guys unlike Justin Tim­ber­lake, lets just take a look at him, he sings like a bar­bie, he looks like a fag, he acts like a fag, he laughs like a fag and he just gives of gay vibes, so I really think he’s gay, cause I can just tell! Plus one of the nyscn mem­bers are gay so there prob­a­bly all gay! Or maybe J.T’s bisexual!

    p.s (don’t call me a gay bas­tard or what­ever your reply is to males cause I’m a girl so haha!)

  • Ah, well, looks like we’ll have to find a hag­gis and spitroast it.

  • ha ha , no i am afraid i am typ­i­cally scot­tish, small­ish stocky hairy shaved head with a love of hag­gis, being burns night this week i am in my ele­ment as you can imagine

  • Team Amer­ica was dis­ap­point­ing, yes, espe­cially the sex. I mean, how dif­fi­cult is for pup­pets to get wood?
    http://uroskin.blogspot.com/2006/01/team-america-f-yeah-there-really-was.html

  • Sorry about that. Big Gay Al is of course a real liv­ing human being, whereas Elton John is a cheap cartoon.

    I did watch ‘World Police’, but was dis­ap­pointed that none of their pup­pets had lips like Vir­gil Tracy.

  • Mark, I’m tak­ing you to task: how dare you equate the right­eous Big Gay Al with Elton John!

    While you have told me that you are not a huge fan of South Park, yet here you elude to one of that show’s most mem­o­rable figures!

    And on the topic of cre­ative cock­suck­ing, have you ever got­ten to watch­ing Parker and Stone’s mas­ter­piece “Team Amer­ica: World Police!” It’s based on that old ITV pup­pet show from the 60s, ‘The Thunderbirds’

  • That’s very kind. Do you look like a sexually-confused Eminem fan?

  • well mark if you ever get back up to scot­land i would gladly!!! this is a great site i have just found it after being a big fan of your books and work, you any plans for some new books in the future

  • Suck my gay dick.

  • who the fuck r u to sug­gest some­one is gay or straight talkin about eminem like u fuckin know him stick to suckin cock u fuckin fag­got or bet­ter yet die painfully [calibre101@hotmail.com]

Leave a Reply

Your email is never shared.Required fields are marked *