Cristiano Ronaldo Grabs David Beckham’s Bulging Underwear

cristiano ronaldo shopping1 Cristiano Ronaldo Grabs David Beckhams Bulging Underwear

My con­grat­u­la­tions go to Cris­tiano Ronaldo, who once again is step­ping into Beck’s pricey shoes – and briefs. Ronaldo has just been named Armani’s new inter­na­tional ‘spokesmodel’. (Pre­sum­ably his legs and packet are going to do all the talking.)

david beckham 1501429c 300x187 Cristiano Ronaldo Grabs David Beckhams Bulging UnderwearPoor Becks, Mr Armani’s pre­vi­ous sporno star, dis­carded by his Ital­ian designer sugar daddy like yesterday’s trade, unpopular at Galaxy FC and cur­rently sport­ing a Cap­tain Bird­s­eye beard, is increas­ingly look­ing like some­one who was merely keep­ing that over­priced under­wear warm for Ronaldo. In fact, being appointed Mr Armani’s inter­na­tional flasher – rather than the record-busting trans­fer deal to Real Madrid ear­lier this year — is the 100% cot­ton proof that Ronaldo has now finally and offi­cially eclipsed Becks bulging pro­file in the metro-tarting stakes.

The crown of met­ro­sex­u­al­ity — and more impor­tantly the pants — have been passed on to a new gen­er­a­tion. Cris­tiano Ronaldo, ladies and gents, is the new met­ro­sex­ual king/queen. (He may not have much taste, but that’s the won­der­ful thing about being king or queen: you don’t have to.)

Becks may have blazed a trail for foot­balling met­ro­sex­u­al­ity, but Ronaldo is look­ing like the fin­ished, total prod­uct where Becks was merely the pro­to­type. Ronaldo is gen­uinely, boy­ishly (and annoyingly) beautiful, where Becks, well into his thir­ties now, increas­ingly looks like mut­ton very expen­sively dressed as lamb.

I don’t think though that Becks will fade away any time soon. Despite all the talk about his his fetch­ing looks, he never was a great beauty. No, really. It was the pas­sion of his desire to be desired that was always the com­pelling thing about him — and as he gets older that pas­sion will prob­a­bly only increase.

Even with a Bird­s­eye beard.

 

4 Comments

  • Good lord.

  • There’s a dif­fer­ence, I think in stan­dards of mas­cu­line beauty/attractiveness. A room full of bot­toms would pass Ronaldo up like puppy doo on the walk pack­age or not ‚for Beck­a­ham, who seem much more Butch. I havn’t watched the two play but I’d be will­ing to bet that Ron is a less aggres­sive and more sub­tle player. Beck­ham is a dri­ver. stop. Imag­i­na­tion out of hand.

  • Ugh. Ronaldo, beautiful?

    How can any­one keep hold of the guy, what with all those slip­pery, vis­cous sub­stances ooz­ing from his every pore?

  • Mark Walsh wrote:

    Well, I’d take either one in a sec­ond: Ronaldo would have to com­mit him­self to being a bot­tom: I’ll bet his back­side is comely as the rest of his alto­gether.
    The thing to remem­ber about tops is that pret­ti­ness is not the main pre­req­ui­site: Pres­ence and a sense of daring-do are what attracts the bottoms-esp. poewer­bot­toms, who know what they want. He’d have to pull of a rape to get some of us or else be grab­bing his own ankles.to appeal in a chal­lenge match”.

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