David Beckham’s Package: Don’t Handle The Goods, Madam

After all those ads in which Becks thrusted his giant Armani wrapped pack­age in our faces if not down our throats, an Ital­ian satir­i­cal TV show decided to do a lit­tle con­sumer prod­uct test­ing.  You know that in Italy they like to han­dle the sausage and toma­toes — and hag­gle over the price — before they part with their Euros.

Both par­ties are clearly unimpressed.

For those who don’t speak the most beau­ti­ful, most musi­cal lan­guage in the world: the rubber-gloved lady shouts at a hooded, glow­er­ing Beck­ham dri­ving off in his (ridicu­lously large) car full of min­ders: ‘HOW COULD YOU TAKE US FORRIDE!!??’

The inci­dent has caused some anger in the UK, and some see it as out­right sex­ual assault.  But if you are paid very large wedges of cash to put your lunch­box on the side of buses to sell over­priced under­wear to the masses then per­haps the only shock­ing thing is that more pun­ters don’t cop a feel of the goods.

35 Comments

  • arctic_jay wrote:

    again @straightonlyinchurch
    “Doesn’t that sig­nal some cul­tural rel­a­tivism. IF so, why is YOUR posi­tion right and the more phys­i­cally lib­eral posi­tion (of the states or per­haps latin nations), wrong? Can’t you just say this makes you uncom­fort­able but it doesn’t have to make every­one so?”

    Um, if you actu­ally believed in cul­tural rel­a­tivism than you would not be try­ing to argue a posi­tion. You ARE try­ing to argue that this is not sex­ual abuse and there­fore don’t even believe in the point you’re try­ing to make. Nice one.

    And in case you for­got, it’s not just I that this makes uncom­fort­able, it also made clearly made Beck­ham uncomfortable/angry as well. Just because you’re okay with it, does every­one else have to be?

  • arctic_jay wrote:

    @straightonlyinjest

    I’m going to answer your first batch of ques­tions last.

    If this was close to ANYTHING, it was rogerto benigni accept­ing his euro­pean film award, not merely embrac­ing irene jacob as she gave it, but lift­ing her up in a full body press (he touched her BOOBIES! NO!), or per­haps Adrien Brody press­ing his kiss upon the unsus­pect­ing (but next to becks, far more impro­vi­sa­tion­ally tal­ented) Halle at his oscar victory.”

    These are extremely poor com­par­isons. The deter­mi­na­tion of sex­ual abuse involves dif­fer­ent cri­te­ria than other more straight­foward crimes like theft and mur­der. Such things that need to be con­sid­ered are the rela­tion­ship to the peo­ple involved, the intent of the per­pe­tra­tor, what it is rea­son­able to expect a per­son ought to know regard­ing per­sonal bound­aries, and the nature of the acts com­mit­ted. A man spon­ta­neously grab­bing his wife’s behind is dif­fer­ent that a stranger doing so to a ran­dom woman. A co-worker com­pli­ment­ing someone’s new clothes in order to boost their con­fi­dence is dif­fer­ent than com­pli­ment­ing some­one in order to make them feel like a sex­ual object. An amer­i­can upon can­not be expected to know all the sex­ual mores of a Japan­ese per­son and there­fore is not as cul­pa­ble as another Japan­ese per­son who should know bet­ter. A hand­shake is not the same as grop­ing someone’s gen­i­tals. Start­ing to get the pic­ture? What Roberto Benigni did was obvi­ously not mali­cious and hugs are in most con­texts a ges­ture of friend­li­ness. The boob squash­ing is not per­ti­nent because hugs are about genial close­ness, any boob touch­ing is inci­den­tal to the act. This is dia­met­ri­cally opposed to what that woman did to Beck­ham. The video clearly shows that not only did she know that Beck­ham would not wel­come a grope, she actu­ally was bank­ing on it. His humil­i­ated look was the “money-shot” needed to cre­ate the yuks and con­tro­versy she was striv­ing for. If he had reacted with humor it would have com­pletely deflated the prank. And that’s what pissed me off so much about peo­ple try­ing to excuse it. Here we have a instance of a well-publicized case of sex­ual abuse that’s com­pletely unam­bigu­ous due to the fact that the woman open owns her mali­cious intent, and yet peo­ple still want to excuse it.

    Or per­haps scar­lett johans­son get­ting “molested” by a gay­dar tar­get and E net­work employee:”

    This is a much bet­ter com­par­i­son. I get the feel­ing that Johans­son was not okay with the feel­ing up as she appeared. I remem­ber read­ing an inter­view where she pretty much reit­er­ated the female commentator’s point that if Isaac Mizrahi were straight, she would have slapped him. I’m guess that she was tak­ing by sur­prise and the fact that Mizrahi is well-known to be gay made it dif­fi­cult for her to know how to respond at that moment and so decide to laugh it off. That’s her choice, but if she had punched him out I would have com­pletely sup­ported her.

  • @arctic_jay

    You’re seri­ously call­ing this sex­ual abuse?

    I mean, seri­ously, sex­ual abuse.

    Can’t you hear yourself?

  • straightonlyinbed wrote:

    @arctic_libido

    I’d accept to let this die, but if it’s your thing today to deter­mine what is and is not sex­ual harass­ment, I sup­pose the next step you could take would be quot­ing the laws of britain for spe­cific exam­ples to prove your point

    But on the pop cul­tural front, I know this is a bit of a stu­pid loca­tion, but what do you make of ash­ton kuch­ner in the U.S. with his “punked” (or unhiply spelled “punk’d”) mtv show, where he not only gropes, humil­i­ates but assaults (both sen­so­ri­ally with infan­tile screams in celebrity ears, like ’twere tod­dlers in the sand box, and sex­u­ally with many an inap­pro­pri­ate grope or cloth­ing torn from the body, AND phys­i­cally with rau­cous body checks, bumps and trips and jumps) not to men­tion the inva­sion of pri­vacy with hid­den cam­eras and all the other some­times deli­cious and some­times dis­gust­ing, silly vul­gar­i­ties of mod­ern gizmo-oriented, insen­si­tive, art­less, mod­ern times?
    Doesn’t seem to many peo­ple in the states, gay, straight, men or women, are either both­ered or even dis­tracted by his antics.
    Doesn’t that sig­nal some cul­tural rel­a­tivism. IF so, why is YOUR posi­tion right and the more phys­i­cally lib­eral posi­tion (of the states or per­haps latin nations), wrong? Can’t you just say this makes you uncom­fort­able but it doesn’t have to make every­one so?

    I can’t stand the kind of point­less, asex­ual inti­macy which east asians, mov­ing to the west, dis­play. Used to greater crowds and less per­sonal space, they often “invade” my per­sonal space in bath­rooms, locker rooms, line-ups. But before I feel out­raged, I limit it to annoy­ance, real­iz­ing that they may have an atti­tude that I might con­sider. If they’re pretty and I’m in a “gay” old mood, I may find it flat­ter­ing, even. Alas, it is never the anime-looking pretty boys who dis­play such awk­ward­ness.
    As to “sex­ual harass­ment” in the work­place, the 1990s are over and we should try as hard as pos­si­ble to keep away a resur­gence of the clarence thomas hear­ings, where the men­tion of a can of “coke”, sug­gest­ing a sex­u­al­ized rhyme (you can guess) will war­rant a national inves­ti­ga­tion.
    The woman wasn’t Becks’ boss, or coworker, or employee, or any­thing. If any­thing, they were two clowns, sur­rounded by the eye of the media and hence on a stage (not alone in some dark pas­sage).
    If this was close to ANYTHING, it was rogerto benigni accept­ing his euro­pean film award, not merely embrac­ing irene jacob as she gave it, but lift­ing her up in a full body press (he touched her BOOBIES! NO!), or per­haps Adrien Brody press­ing his kiss upon the unsus­pect­ing (but next to becks, far more impro­vi­sa­tion­ally tal­ented) Halle at his oscar vic­tory
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4kzceTpmAY

    Or per­haps scar­lett johans­son get­ting “molested” by a gay­dar tar­get and E net­work employee:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aHeWDN2SMc

    oh that poor becks. no straight man should ever have to put up with the pain of a pretty girl grab­bing him.
    Let the law­suits begin!

  • …a fag­goty thing to say”?

    Your silver-toned ora­tory has con­vinced me of the sheer right­eous­ness of your argu­ment. Aided, of course, by your exquis­ite use of phrase. I am sure that Mr Beck­ham is glad that his tes­ti­cles are safe from satir­i­cal Ital­ians with you on the case.

  • Mark Walsh wrote:

    It ‘s no fun to be didled, I’m sure?

  • @sisu

    Are you just dense? I never said Beck­ham could not be crit­i­cized, com­mented upon, or even mocked. News flash: a grope is not a form of “reading.”

  • @Mark Walsh

    Your com­ments man­age to some­how be both banal and ridicu­lous. First of all, the “sex­ual” in sex­ual abuse does not always refer to erotic grat­i­fi­ca­tion felt by the per­pe­tra­tor. Much of the sex­ual harass­ment that occurs in, say, the work­place is not com­mit­ted for the pur­pose of grat­i­fi­ca­tion but if often used to con­trol or dom­i­nate its vic­tim. “Sex­ual abuse” can sim­ply refer to the char­ac­ter of abuse itself. She groped his gen­i­tals and then tried to humil­i­ate him sex­u­ally. That’s both abu­sive and sex­ual. Hence…

    The neu­rotic pro­por­tions of this opereta can best be assessed by giv­ing due con­sid­er­a­tion to the brave reporter who per­formed the dar­ing act as defi­ance of com­mer­cial­ism, star wor­ship and sub­stan­tially overblown ego tripping. ”

    Oh, lawds. She’s the host of a prank show. Her job is to gar­ner rat­ings by pulling ridicu­lous stunts in order to sell ad space. She’s every bit as wed­ded to com­mer­cial­ism as Beck­ham, only she oper­ates more par­a­sit­i­cally and yet some­how you want see her as a modern-day Jonathon Swift. Please.

    If Amer­i­can reporters had half as much “balls” as she did, we’d live in a very dif­fer­ent world”

    She showed no “balls” what­so­ever. I assure you she was quite con­fi­dent that she would suf­fer no con­se­quences for her abu­sive act. It’s the oppo­site of dar­ing to humil­i­ate some­one with no threat of reprisal. A male prank show host grop­ing Julia Roberts would be show­ing far more balls since he would very likely be arrested or suf­fer a beat down. All this woman has to worry about is a lot of pub­lic­ity and bet­ter ratings.

    I’m a lit­tle dis­ap­pointed in Mr. Beck­ham. Kind of a sissy.”

    What a fag­goty thing to say. Does it really make you feel macho call­ing a straight ath­lete a sissy for not enjoy­ing an unso­licited grope?

  • Mark Walsh wrote:

    If Amer­i­can reporters had half as much “balls” as she did, we’d live in a very dif­fer­ent world.

  • Mark Walsh wrote:

    The neu­rotic pro­por­tions of this opereta can best be assessed by giv­ing due con­sid­er­a­tion to the brave reporter who per­formed the dar­ing act as defi­ance of com­mer­cial­ism, star wor­ship and sub­stan­tially overblown ego trip­ping. For dumb­ies who think that their was some sort of per­sonal sex­ual grat­i­fa­ca­tion going on, note not only that she was a woman (not very inclined to tax­ctile stim­u­la­tion of that sort, and that she had rub­ber gloves on, as stim­u­lat­ing as a shower with a rain­coat , even if she had been.

    She was engaged in polit­i­cal satire, which Becks might have responded too with humor, not like some lit­tle girl on the play­ground being groped by a bum. After all, he was hardly endan­gered. There were not even any sex­ual motives.

    I’m a lit­tle dis­ap­pointed in Mr. Beck­ham. Kind of a sissy.

  • oh dear. I am old and obso­lete (at 38!) and bow before your wis­dom artic_jay. Despite Mr Beckham’s per­son­al­ity, his court­ing of the media, and the use of his sup­port­ing cor­po­ra­tions to use his fame to sell prod­ucts must still give him immu­nity to any form of read­ing except for your own.

  • @straightlineonlyinbed

    I’m not sure if either of your com­ments are meant to be taken seri­ously. Your prose seems a bit too over­cooked and over-seasoned to be entirely in earnest, but if they are…

    If that seems unfair, well yes. But so’s life, duh! A beau­ti­ful face and any lady will get away with more, espe­cially in sit­u­a­tions like this, of lit­tle to no con­se­quence (as her inves­ti­ga­tion revealed it to be, indeed.)”

    Yes, life isn’t fair; that’s the rea­son soci­eties develop rules: to ensure fair­ness when­ever pos­si­ble. Rape, ter­ror­ism, and theft are not fair either. Should we just ignore them?

    The only dis­com­fort and vio­la­tion I can think of is not the vio­lence of the ges­ture but the expo­sure it sym­bol­izes. Proud as a guy may be about his gonads, to have them sized up so directly reveals how lit­tle his stuff can stand up for him in the world.”

    Sorry, but the dis­com­fort comes from the fact that most peo­ple expect to have sov­er­eignty over their own bod­ies and unso­licited grop­ing is a breach of that. It really is that sim­ple; no need to come up with some unique and unin­tu­itive rea­son dressed in flo­ral lan­guage. Your expla­na­tion is con­tra­dicted by the video any­way, since Beckham’s angry reac­tion hap­pened directly after the grope before the woman made her commentary.

    But I bet the real rea­son that gays may cry wolf, call­ing this sex­ual assault, is to fur­ther their respectabil­ity and pro­pa­gan­dize how help­less and inno­cent they are in this bad old world.”

    Huh? How does gay men com­ing to the defense of a straight man sex­u­ally assaulted by a female prove that gays are “help­less.” In fact, as an openly homo­sex­ual man, I feel more empow­ered to not tol­er­ate female sex­ual aggres­sive­ness and hypocrisy, since I’m not nearly as con­strained by male gen­der roles as straight men are.

    The forces of puri­tan­i­cal self repres­sion are much harder to defeat than free thinking,”

    Not want­ing to be groped is not self-repression. In fact, qui­etly tol­er­at­ing sex­ual harass­ment is the actual self-repression since you’re repress­ing the objec­tions you feel com­pelled to make.

  • arctic_jay wrote:

    @sisu

    Oh girls, stop clutch­ing your pearls and get a fuck­ing grip.”

    This type of response makes you seem very old and very obso­lete. Maybe try a lit­tle con­tem­pla­tion and rea­son­ing next time?

    Beck­ham is a pub­lic per­sona; this is not sex­ual abuse but an expose of the pathet­ic­ness of marketing.”

    Nope. It’s sex­ual abuse. Just because some­one is a celebrity does not mean you are allowed to treat every aspect of their life and per­son as if they were pub­lic domain. That’s just com­mon, adult sense. Beck­ham pos­ing half-nude for a bill­board allows you to gawk at a racy image of him; it does not allow you to grope him when he’s fully dressed and not giv­ing you any sex­ual atten­tion. Grow up.

    If Becks was not a pub­lic per­sona, if he did not pro­mote his “goods” then he would not be in the pub­lic sphere and not be the sub­ject of satire.”

    Satire would be some­one recre­at­ing one of his famous ads in a way that mocks it. Grop­ing is not satire. Con­flat­ing sex­ual abuse with an art form in order to make it seem okay makes you seem creepy. Just thought you’d like to know.

    Besides, us queers should know that it is only sex­ual abuse if, after we say no to an unwel­come atten­tion, then we have con­tin­ued attention.”

    What a use­ful nugget of queer wis­dom. The hets ought to be informed of its use­ful­ness. The courtship game would be far more effi­cient if a man made his inter­est known with a casual hand up a lady’s skirt. But ceased imme­di­ately if the lady politely informed him of her dis­in­ter­est, of course.

    The first grope is inter­est. Only the sec­ond would be abuse.”

    The first grope is abuse, and so is the second.

  • Mark Walsh wrote:

    Sisu: The sec­ond (grope) could be warmly antic­i­pated, me thinks.

    Beck’s I’m sure can take care of him­self, and prob­a­bly wel­comes the odd tug just for val­i­da­tion if not plain stim­u­la­tion. God knows there has to be a sub­con­cious need in play with his flaunt­ing which he doesn’t get on the soc­cer field . Rarely have I seen a set of goods expire from use! In truth, the con­trary is more often the case. Only an over­ex­panded ego would take offense.
    Really, many of us could use such a friendly unof­fen­sive greet­ing now and again from strangers. I remem­ber a time when that was wel­comed as a sign of com­mu­nity. What a pleas­ant way to start the day!

    We’ve all got­ten too stingy in this era of mar­riage and pay as you go.

  • Oh girls, stop clutch­ing your pearls and get a fuck­ing grip.

    Beck­ham is a pub­lic per­sona; this is not sex­ual abuse but an expose of the pathet­ic­ness of marketing.

    If Becks was not a pub­lic per­sona, if he did not pro­mote his “goods” then he would not be in the pub­lic sphere and not be the sub­ject of satire.

    Besides, us queers should know that it is only sex­ual abuse if, after we say no to an unwel­come atten­tion, then we have con­tin­ued attention.

    The first grope is inter­est. Only the sec­ond would be abuse.

  • arctic_jay wrote:

    Um, to mor­al­ize means to cast a moral judge­ment upon a sit­u­a­tion. I was crit­i­ciz­ing the impli­ca­tion in your post that it was per­mis­si­ble for the women to grope Beck­ham, since he poses and dresses provoca­tively in ads. That’s in essence a moral judge­ment. If you hadn’t mor­al­ized and sim­ple reported what hap­pened, I would have not responded.

    And nobody wants you to sup­port sex­ual harass­ment for the oppor­tu­nity to feel the out­rage it would pro­vide. I’d much rather agree with you, like I did con­cern­ing Larry Craig, than dis­agree with you. The post just reads like an excuse for the grop­ing. If it’s not that, then that means that you believe what this woman did was wrong and Beck­ham is not to blame for it, right?

  • straightlineonlyinbed wrote:

    And if there are a few hets in the UK who see it as sex­ual assault, then either that’s just anglo anti sex serum tak­ing effect (as it does when­ever encoun­ter­ing pro sex silli­ness) or else what remains of celebrity has, in its weak­ened state, become a sanc­ti­fied and spoiled, sickly old son: unbreach­able and often pre­ten­tiously, pro­tec­tively touted as ambas­sado­r­ial sym­bol for the glo­ries of the land. Not only should you receive it only in for­mal dress, but for sure don’t tell it that it’s penis isn’t quite as you like it. Lest the whole fam­ily faint, fear­ing for his happiness.

  • straightlineonlyinbed wrote:

    As a straight met­ro­sex­ual, this clip is not only funny but seduc­tively appeal­ing, sim­ply because the Ital­ian woman is so pretty. She’s not some­one to dream about all day and she’s even a bit troll­ish. But she’s cute and pleas­ant. In Italy and other latin cul­tures, men get away with pinch­ing ladies bot­toms in the street. They either get away with it or they get told off. A gen­tle, hip lady has to be even more pleas­ant than that.
    If that seems unfair, well yes. But so’s life, duh! A beau­ti­ful face and any lady will get away with more, espe­cially in sit­u­a­tions like this, of lit­tle to no con­se­quence (as her inves­ti­ga­tion revealed it to be, indeed.)
    The only dis­com­fort and vio­la­tion I can think of is not the vio­lence of the ges­ture but the expo­sure it sym­bol­izes. Proud as a guy may be about his gonads, to have them sized up so directly reveals how lit­tle his stuff can stand up for him in the world.
    But I bet the real rea­son that gays may cry wolf, call­ing this sex­ual assault, is to fur­ther their respectabil­ity and pro­pa­gan­dize how help­less and inno­cent they are in this bad old world.
    I can’t help but sym­pa­thize with their atti­tude, as much as I hate it.
    The forces of puri­tan­i­cal self repres­sion are much harder to defeat than free think­ing, free sen­su­al­ity that relies on phys­i­cal inter­ac­tion to exist. Safer to cow-tow to the fanat­ics than to stand up for the sexy lightweights.

  • supermarky wrote:

    OIC. You do seem to dwell on the more loathing side of that ambiva­lence though. But it’s not just you…and I think I’m react­ing par­tic­u­larly to the com­ment that if this had hap­pened to poor Tiger it would quite another mat­ter. Any­way I’m inclined to regard David with pity to think that any­one with all that clout would chose posh spice. How can you expect any­thing of such a man beyond kick­ing a ball around?

    I really don’t get this equa­tion cop­ping of a lit­tle feel with rape.

    Mark, what is your pro­file name on gay­dar? The “por­trai­ture” sec­tion of this site has been mys­te­ri­ously out of order for some time.

  • Mark Walsh wrote:

    It never occurred to me to ask why I like Becks, which I do, although I have an extremely lim­ited expo­sure to him. Clearly it’s because while I’m an Amer­i­can, Soc­cer is one of the only sports I like, and it warms the cock­les of my heart to see his crotch hoisted above one and all not only in recog­ni­tion of soc­cer but of male tarti­ness as such.

    Trust me when I say that most Amer­i­can ath­letes are not only so unsightly but crassly reli­gious that it would be a sheer embar­rass­ment all around to put any of them in a remotely sim­i­lar position.

    Granted, it goes with­out say­ing, that any­one so proudly trot­ing around with his han­dle so exposed is liable to pro­voke the odd fon­dle, espe­cially amongst the pas­sion­ate Ital­ian croud, long taught in grade school to avoid the dreary fate of Tantalous.

    Truth be told, it can be quite the delight­ful expe­ri­ence to be grapled by the right hand; and dragged hen­forth away. He can’t be so grand a lady. as to cry rape at that inad­ver­tance. If he is, it’s all the more humerous.

  • that should be “antipa­thy for” hunh

  • Super­marky: I’m not antipa­thetic to Becks, as I say, I’m ambivalent.

  • This lit­tle exchange does remind me of “Salo” I have to say: the musi­cal lan­guage, the tak­ing of lib­er­ties by libertines.

    There is a not so great Span­ish film from 92 “Jamón, Jamón” that has a really great open­ing scene which reminds me a bit of this inci­dent. Rent it just for that sometime.

    I don’t really get the antipa­thy to Becksy-poo. I mean as vil­lains go these days he’s pretty lightweight.

  • I am out­raged at the very notion that any­body could even think that this was some­how accept­able. Wether he is a model in his pants or the worlds best porn star, he has the same right not to be sex­u­ally vio­lated like the next man.

    To allude to the accept­abil­ity of this sex­ual vio­la­tion as some­how a result of the fact he mod­els under­wear is akin to the notion that a man can be raped because he is wear­ing erotic or seduc­tive clothing.

    As a gay man, I spend much of my time in total dis­be­lief at the totally out­ra­geous dou­ble stan­dard in our soci­ety with such regard. More dis­ap­point­ingly how the dou­ble stan­dard comes from gay men who are seem­ingly so penis obsessed that we have the likes of Tom Ford demon­strat­ing an unbe­liev­ably infan­tile cor­re­la­tion between breasts an a mans gen­i­tals and you Mark, some­how find­ing this accept­able as though it was a pas­sage of rites for him a con­se­quence to his mod­el­ing career. like some­how he deserved it because he is rich, adored and seem­ingly gay pub­lic property.

    I’m ashamed of you. This kind of behav­ior serves only to keep gay men in a cer­tain place that many ill informed and big­got­ted straight men wish to keep us. In the realms of ridicule and a hated fig­ure. And I am begin­ning to under­stand why.

  • Simon: Like Artic Jay, you appear to be ‘out­raged’ that I don’t share your moral­is­ing response to this inci­dent. You’re wel­come of course to be as out­raged as you like, espe­cially since you seem to enjoy it so much, but I’m afraid my actual post doesn’t say what you seem to want it to say.

  • I’m not inter­ested in a career in law enforce­ment, if that’s what you’re ask­ing. Why?

  • What hap­pened is not right. If it had hap­pened to another foot­baller, we would be shak­ing our heads and call­ing that women a pathetic bitch who has not only invaded a person’s body with­out their con­sent but is also degrad­ing to women for assum­ing this behav­iour was acceptable.

    How­ever it hap­pened to Beck­ham, he courts the media (this wasn’t a passer by, they aren’t allowed near him) Beck­ham and the press are bed part­ners, he scratches their backs by allow­ing them to exploit him with inter­views and pho­tographs 24hrs a day and for that they suck up to him with words and money.

    If this had hap­pened to Tiger Woods even after his recent sex­ual dal­liances, I would be hor­ri­fied that some­one could be so vuglar and dis­re­spect­ful but for Beck­ham, I feel nothing.….no sympathy.

    As for Cris­tiano Ronaldo, “He’s just too good-looking.…..We’re gonna kill this pretty thing.”

    He refused to play the media game and for that they mocked and ridiculed his every move.
    That’s what they do, try to destroy the ones they can’t con­tol and manipulate.(too many good peo­ple) Cris­tiano must be hap­pier in Spain.

  • Mark Walsh wrote:

    Mr/ms Jay : That would be ok, I sup­pose. Are you inter­ested in law enforcement?

  • arctic_jay wrote:

    Really? So you think that what she did was a crime then, cor­rect? Because your last para­graph seems to be mak­ing an excuse to defend her against those that would accuse her of sex­ual assault.

  • Mark Walsh wrote:

    The Ital­ian clergy has been reported mak­ing scads sell­ing indul­gences to Catholic ladies, who feel unclean since Becks.

  • Mark Walsh wrote:

    I may be mis­taken, but it seems to me that the ad appeals to sev­eral lev­els of mean­ing. Of course, up front it’s a scoff­ing at Becham for being up staged by Ronaldo in the com­mer­cial world. On another level, prob­a­bly an appeal to the Roman Catholi­cism of Ital­ian con­sumers, it implies that nice Ital­ian ladies would rather twid­dle a pretty mona lisa like Chris­tano and keep their chastity intact than risk rut­ting with a roughian like David and his con­cu­pisant uncatholic dick… risk­ing the Il Papa’s dis­plea­sure and a trip to hell. The Madona or Satan?

    I’ve always been impressed with Becks being a great Soc­car player ; and he looks a lot more studly and less of a princess. My instincts aquiver, tell me: “Christano’s a bot­tom! ” even the ladies can tell , they’re safe.

  • arctic_jay wrote:

    Are you fuck­ing kid­ding me, Mark?

    You can dis­like Beck­ham all you want, but this is clearly sex­ual assault. By your logic, every female celebrity is fair game for hav­ing their good­ies groped by any curi­ous male passersby.

    You’re dehu­man­iz­ing him for basi­cally aes­thetic rea­sons and it’s not witty or brave, nor is the ital­ian lady, who is deserv­ing of a stint in jail or a seri­ous kick in the twat.

  • Artic Jay: The ‘logic’ is entirely yours.

  • I’ve always detested this man. All Brand and no soul. He’s been com­pletely mar­keted. A robot who eat, sleeps and breathes money. Who speak and act in the best way to win over the media.

    Give me a human being not a media whore. Yes to Car­ragher, Ger­rard even Joey Bar­ton.
    They, thank­fuly, have their own opin­ions and minds.

  • I’ve always been ambiva­lent about Beck­ham, for much the same rea­sons you men­tion — but have always been absolutely decided on one thing: I don’t fancy him in the least. And I don’t care how much it upsets him to know that.

    Iron­i­cally he’s much more deserv­ing of the vicious crit­i­cism lev­elled by the Brits at Cris­tiano Ronaldo, but his fake humil­ity and medi­oc­rity save him from that.

    But the mur­der­ous look he gives the woman that han­dled his goods with­out pay­ing first as he’s bun­dled away by his min­ders is def­i­nitely real.

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