Sexing the Brain: Neuroscience vs. Neurosexism

puppy dog tails Sexing the Brain: Neuroscience vs. Neurosexism

What are lit­tle boys made of?
“Snips and snails, and puppy dogs tails
That’s what lit­tle boys are made of!“
What are lit­tle girls made of?
“Sugar and spice and all things nice
That’s what lit­tle girls are made of!”

This pop­u­lar kids nursery-rhyme, and the pop­u­lar notion that men and women are dif­fer­ent species from entirely dif­fer­ent worlds, may have to be re-written in the light of recent findings.

Sev­eral books recently have taken a scalpel to ‘neu­ro­sex­ism’, or rather the neu­ro­science of ‘innate’ and ‘inborn’ – or ‘hard­wired’– dif­fer­ences between men and women.  It seems that most of what we have been told about ‘male’ and ‘female’ brains over the last few decades is, to use a highly tech­ni­cal term, bol­locks.

It turns out there is lit­tle or no sound sci­en­tific evi­dence for the sweep­ing claims that have been made about sexed brains – even if they make for easy head­lines for copy-editors and pro­vide end­less mate­r­ial for lazy stand-up comics.  In fact, the very notion of a ‘male brain’ and a ‘female brain’ is mis­lead­ing.  Shock­ingly, it turns out that the human race, in all its bil­lions and bil­lions, doesn’t actu­ally resolve itself into just two kinds of peo­ple.  One made of snips and snails and the other made of sugar and spice.  One from Mars, the other from Venus.

Yes, there are some dif­fer­ences between adult male and female brains, but these are not, it seems, so much inborn in the way we think of anatom­i­cal sex­ual dif­fer­ence as being inborn – there’s lit­tle solid evi­dence of sex dif­fer­ences in children’s brains.  Instead they’re the result of our highly ‘plas­tic’ brains adapt­ing to the cul­ture and expec­ta­tions they are born into.  Learn­ing the syn­tax of sex and gender.

Hav­ing read one of the most pub­li­cised books, Dr Lise Eliot’s (iron­i­cally titled) Pink Brain, Blue Brain, I can report I thor­oughly enjoyed the way she method­i­cally dices and slices the mounds and mounds of dodgy neu­ro­science papers that have gone before her, like some kind of white-coated Ellen Rip­ley fig­ure.  It’s always a thrill to see sci­en­tific scep­ti­cism in action – espe­cially in a par­tic­u­larly ego­tis­ti­cal field such as neu­ro­science that seem­ingly just can’t resist mak­ing sev­eral whop­ping great ten­den­tious claims before lunchtime. Neu­ro­sci­en­tists some­times come across like a real-life Pinky and The Brain, but more ridiculous.

Eliot’s argu­ment is that small phys­i­cal and tem­pera­men­tal dif­fer­ences between the sexes at birth are exag­ger­ated by cul­tural atti­tudes – and by bad sci­ence based on cul­tural atti­tudes, pro­vid­ing a depress­ing feed­back loop. She cer­tainly makes a force­ful case for it, show­ing how so much of the data in this area has been cherry-picked or unrea­son­ably extrap­o­lated from stud­ies on rats.  Essen­tially, for the vast major­ity of chil­dren, how they are raised and edu­cated and the cul­tural expec­ta­tions they are born into are of much greater impor­tance for their psy­cho­log­i­cal devel­op­ment than the amount of testos­terone they were or were not exposed to in the womb.

But per­haps what is most inter­est­ing is that while she might be char­ac­terised by some (though not as far as I’m aware by her­self) as a ‘fem­i­nist sci­en­tist’, if only because she’s female and a sci­en­tist and tak­ing on gen­der stereo­typ­ing, she’s not so much rid­ing to the res­cue here of girls, as boys.

The biggest losers as a result of latter-day ‘neu­ro­sex­ism’ aren’t the girls who are dis­cour­aged from being phys­i­cally adven­tur­ous by their over-protective moth­ers, or tac­itly per­suaded that maths isn’t for them, but the boys who are talked to less than girls, left on their own longer and not expected to be inter­ested in books.  We can glean an idea of who is really los­ing out in the fig­ures which show that boys are falling fur­ther and fur­ther behind girls at every level of edu­ca­tion.  It’s not so much that edu­ca­tion has been ‘fem­i­nised’ as some would have it, it’s that edu­ca­tion has been branded ‘not for boys’ by bad sci­ence and even worse pop­u­lar­iza­tions of it.

The notion/prejudice that girls are ‘hard­wired’ for com­mu­ni­ca­tion and boys’ for aggres­sion is doubt­less very unfair indeed to girls – but it’s down­right abu­sive for boys.  Our assump­tions that boys as a ‘species’ are ‘nat­u­rally’ much less empa­thetic than girls, less social, less lit­er­ate, less sen­si­tive – less ‘human’ in other words – are a self-fulfilling prophecy/nightmare.  Snips and snails.… Boys are, in effect, being ‘hard­wired’ into fail­ure by adult prej­u­dice – and sci­en­tific hogwash.

Neu­ro­science has ended up say­ing some very strange, very dam­ag­ing things about boys.  Lead­ing neu­ro­sci­en­tist Simon Baron-Cohen (yes, he’s the cousin of the other one) actu­ally argues that autism is ‘an extreme form of male­ness’, caused by expo­sure to high lev­els of pre-natal testos­terone.  Put another way, he’s in effect argu­ing that ‘nor­mal’ male­ness is a mild form of autism (rather like most of the nov­els of Nick Hornby).  Dr Eliot does a par­tic­u­larly nifty job of despatch­ing this argu­ment, con­clud­ing that far from being some kind of excess of male­ness, we still just don’t know what causes autism.

But my favourite part of the book was this anec­dote, used to illus­trate how five-year-olds tend to define and enforce gen­der in a man­ner entirely con­sis­tent with the ‘What Are Lit­tle Boys Made Of?’ nurs­ery rhyme:

Psy­chol­o­gist San­dra Bem cites a per­fect exam­ple of such gender-defining stereo­types in the expe­ri­ence of her own son, Jeremy.  She and her hus­band had gone to great lengths to raise their two chil­dren in a gender-neutral way, so when Jeremy announced one day that he wanted to wear hair slides to nurs­ery school, she sim­ply put them in his hair and let him go.  Expect­ing him to be teased, she was sur­prised that he said noth­ing about it when he came home that day.  Later, how­ever, she learned from his teacher that Jeremy had indeed been hounded by on boy, who kept assert­ing that Jeremy must be a girl “because only girls wear hair slides.”

No,” Pro­fes­sor Bem’s well-taught son had coun­tered, going on to insist that he was indeed a boy because he had “ a penis and tes­ti­cles.”  To prove the point, Jeremy even pulled down his trousers.

But the other boy was not per­suaded and replied: “Every­one has a penis; only girls wear hair slides.”

Given what Dr Eliot reports here about many of her colleague’s work, it’s dif­fi­cult not to con­clude that the ‘only girls wear hair slides’ bossy lit­tle boy is going to grow up to be a neuroscientist.

sexying the brain Sexing the Brain: Neuroscience vs. Neurosexism

49 Comments

  • I didn’t find puberty ter­ri­fy­ing. I thought it would be worse, but I was lucky.

    If I’d iden­ti­fied as male, I’d been unlucky I guess. Most men I know want more vis­i­ble “manly” cues than what I got. Most men (say, over 90%) got more vis­i­ble ones, too.

    I came to the con­clu­sion that I wasn’t male, at 8. I looked up rein­car­na­tion, and when Catholic (I was raised Catholic) teach­ings were against it, I renounced reli­gion alto­gether. Thank­fully, my par­ents (and the whole province) was throw­ing Chris­t­ian reli­gion out the win­dow when I was grow­ing up, for dif­fer­ent rea­sons (oppres­sive church in the ‘50s, direct­ing pol­i­tics). Read up about Que­bec province’s French-speaking peo­ple and their rela­tion to Chris­tian­ity. Only 50+ peo­ple even fre­quent church now, in 2 gen­er­a­tions, there won’t be anyone.

    I was set in rein­car­nat­ing as female, because I thought tran­si­tion was impos­si­ble (I had not heard about it ever). At 8, I wanted to die to finally be able to live as myself.

    At 16, when my T lev­els soared, giv­ing me huge acne for 8 years long (until I stopped T, or it would have been life­long I bet) — I fig­ured that testos­terone was poi­so­nous. A less wish­ful think­ing thing. It was some­thing I could know. Some­thing some­what tan­gi­ble. It wasn’t the acne, it was how mis­er­able it made me feel…over 8 years.

    Feel­ing your gen­i­tals are wrong can be explained as fan­tasy. Feel­ing your actual hor­monal flow is wrong, can’t be explained away.

    I still only learned tran­si­tion existed at 22, in early 2005. I looked up all there was to look up about trans stuff. Thou­sands of hours scour­ing the inter­net. I found a trans-friendly doc­tor from some­one I met online who lived nearby. I went, got my hor­mones, and finally, two decades of pent up feel­ings got released.

    Once I tran­si­tioned socially, my true per­sona was able to be there more of the time, and now, almost all the time…except when con­fronting hate. Before tran­si­tion, well, it wasn’t safe at all for my true per­sona to be out.

  • The gate­keep­ers she men­tions encoun­ter­ing, are get­ting rarer and rarer. They still exist, some­times in proem­i­nent posi­tions — like the CAMH in Ontario. They just have much less power than in decades past — where it was the ONLY way to get treatment.

    Trans-friendly shrinks are hard to find. I myself have found none. One will­ing to write me a diag­no­sis, but not friendly. Yet she didn’t force me into a Bar­bie doll stereo­type to approve me either.

    I pre­sented the shrink with the fait accom­pli, 2 years after start­ing hor­mones — because I wanted to switch to an endocri­nol­o­gist and have my legal name change — and that required a GID diag­no­sis by a shrink.

    I made it clear I was see­ing her for that, noth­ing else. It lasted 4 months (once per month). Now my name’s legally changed, and I’ve been with my endo for 3 years. I don’t intend to see shrinks any time soon, even if I do have issues (child­hood ones).

  • I don’t know a whole load about tran­si­tion­ing Schala but I will say some­thing, that even for those of us who don’t tran­si­tion, puberty can be pretty grim.

    I am a woman of sorts and I found puberty ter­ri­fy­ing, and also had quite bad depres­sion at some points dur­ing it. I never came to the con­clu­sion that this was because I wasn’t meant to be ‘female’.

    But I think it is worth not­ing that the ‘nat­ural’ tran­si­tion from child­hood into adolescence/adulthood really often doesn’t feel that nat­ural at all, for lots of people.

  • You might be inter­ested in this Schala-I haven’t read it prop­erly yet but I like the way this per­son writes about some issues around tran­si­tion etc:

    http://unaverage.co.uk/2011/01/12/genderwtf/

  • Btw, I tran­si­tioned a few months before I was 24, both socially and hor­mon­ally (at the same time). Now I’ll be 29 in a few months.

    The main effect T had on my body was giv­ing me loads of acne, and mak­ing my skin some­what more oily (goes well with acne, doesn’t it?). Not tall, not large, not mus­cled, not hairy, no deep voice. And I was still sui­ci­dally depressed.

    I only went bet­ter after tak­ing hor­mones for a few months (time for it to clear out the old system).

    This is some­thing my body can tell me, and that only gets known when it’s wrong for you.

    It’s the ulti­mate trans screen­ing tool: if hor­mones don’t make you feel waaaayyyyy bet­ter psy­cho­log­i­cally, well, it’s not for you.

  • I don’t like the look of this research as I think it is an attempt to fix peo­ple in a set gen­der id very early in life.”

    Isn’t that the present sit­u­a­tion? With most par­ents, and the state, try­ing to “fix peo­ple very early in life” (like, at birth)?

    It’s a sex id any­way, not a gen­der id. Has noth­ing to do with roles.

    That part of the brain is the one telling me that testos­terone is poi­so­nous, it’s not telling me I like dresses or anything.

    Even in a post-patriarchal world where hier­ar­chies don’t exist at all, hor­mones would still course through my veins, and I’d still feel T is poison.

    I’ve had zero point zero lev­els of free T for over 3 years (hor­mones for almost 5). No prob­lem, phys­i­cally or men­tally, with this. I got libido (well some) and my well-being is pretty good.

    Can you believe I had no libido at all before I blocked T? I wasn’t attracted to any­one sex­u­ally. And I had medium T lev­els for an adult male.

    Baron-Cohen isn’t study­ing that part of the brain though. He’s study­ing the plas­tic ones.

    The one telling me T is poi­son is fixed at birth (and unchange­able post-natally), even if it takes it’s shape only in adult­hood. I knew at 16 that it was poi­son (late puberty). I knew at 8 some­thing was wrong with my gen­i­tals. At 16, I just became super-depressed instead of some­what depressed, and that, despite only hav­ing mild phys­i­cal effects with T (I wasn’t depressed about look­ing more mas­cu­line itself…since I didn’t).

  • Schala recently there have been attempts to prove that trans peo­ple have brains that cor­re­spond with the sex/gender they come to iden­tify as. I don’t like the look of this research as I think it is an attempt to fix peo­ple in a set gen­der id very early in life.

    I think your account shows that the brain doesn’t have a ‘sex’. Your inter­ests and par­tic­u­lar sit­u­a­tion are all part of you as a per­son, and can’t be reduced to’male’ or ‘female’.

  • What’s funny is that, accord­ing to Simon Baron-Cohen, I have a pretty male brain. I got asperger on top, so peg me as “extremely male” accord­ing to him.

    Yet, I tran­si­tioned and live as female. Not too fem­i­nine, but enough to not pass as butch or androg­yne. Has more to do with my body lan­guage I take (some­thing out­side my control).

    This doesn’t dis­prove that brains are sexed…but it dis­proves his own the­ory that the parts he thinks are dif­fer­ent are so by sex (and not say, inter­ests and abil­i­ties, which are clas­si­fied stereotypically).

    The BSTc and other small regions prove 100% dys­mor­phic between the sexes, and place trans­sex­ual peo­ple squarely on the side of the sex they iden­tify as. The seat of iden­tity re sex, has few char­ac­ter­is­tics that mat­ter, save a pref­er­ence for a cer­tain body con­fig­u­ra­tion and hor­monal make-up. If it mat­ters re abil­i­ties, it’s very mar­gin­ally and not universal.

    I’m a hard­core gamer (plays JRPGs mainly) and am at ease with pro­gram­ma­tion and “how stuff works”. I ana­lyze most every­thing using logic first and foremost.

    Yet I still iden­tify and live as female, and wouldn’t have it any other way.

  • e.g. Ken­neth Zucker is a ‘psy­chol­o­gist’ and friend of that other great ‘psy­chol­o­gist’ Dr Bailey…(Zucker was in Man­ches­ter this week where he had to organ­ise secret meet­ings to avoid protestors):

    http://www.tsroadmap.com/info/kenneth-zucker.html

  • I have to say that Mr Zucker doesn’t look ter­ri­bly happy in his ‘born gender’.

  • I hope it is a water­shed moment. I don’t feel quite so opti­mistic as you, Mark S. Partly maybe because that spe­cial ‘aca­d­e­mic dis­ci­pline’ type of hatred in my heart is reserved for ‘psy­chol­ogy’, which shares many of neuroscience’s assump­tions and per­spec­tives, but doesn’t present them in quite such a bald, dis­prov­able way.

    I won­der if in some ways psy­chol­ogy has taken over from neu­ro­science as the ‘cred­i­ble’ bio­log­i­cally deter­min­ist force in science/academia/popular thought.

    And psy­chol­ogy has incor­po­rated ‘scep­ti­cism’ into its ethos so it makes out that it can’t be crit­i­cised because it already crit­i­cises itself in a reflex­ive way.

    I REALLY hate that.

  • @imacuriousblue I know what you mean! I read a dis­cus­sion where peo­ple were also crit­i­cis­ing Lise Elliot for ignoring/totally mis­un­der­stand­ing issues around ‘inter­sex’ babies and chil­dren, and I couldn’t really fol­low their cri­tique as I don’t know much about that either from a ‘sci­en­tific’ pov.

    Peo­ple have polit­i­cal per­spec­tives but that doesnt mean they cant take on sci­ence at all. My main prob­lem with sci­ence is its claims at ‘objec­tiv­ity’ which it does not have a unique claim on. Also the idea that non-scientists wont be able to under­stand it at all. You know, gen­der is quite a com­plex sub­ject from a soci­o­log­i­cal point of view, but every­one thinks they know all about that!

  • Lise Elliots con­tention that gen­der dif­fer­ences are greater in adult brains than in chil­dren flies in the face of other research I’ve heard of claim­ing the brain becomes more androg­y­nous with age.

    More gen­er­ally, for every pop­u­lar book claim­ing lit­tle or no innate dif­fer­ences between the sexes, I can find another equally recent book by a neu­ro­sci­en­tist (notably, Louann Brizendine’s “The Male Brain” and “The Female Brain”) claim­ing hyper-importance of innate differences.

    Which, if either side, to believe, if you’re not a spe­cial­ist in neu­ropsy­chol­ogy? Unfor­tu­nately, most peo­ple seem to decide on the basis a pri­ori sexual/political ide­ol­ogy, which is def­i­nitely not the best way to eval­u­ate evidence.

  • While Lise Elliot’s view­point is pos­si­bly ide­o­log­i­cally moti­vated what she shows up very well, along with sev­eral other recent books by sci­en­tists (all female, it has to be said), is that the pre­vail­ing view­point of neu­ro­science when it comes to gen­der hasn’t been based on seri­ous sci­ence but instead on just-so sto­ries and out­right prejudice.

    I think this is a water­shed moment — one that should remind us that phrenol­ogy was once as pop­u­lar and as respectable as neuroscience.

  • They make pink cam­ou­flage … I think I’m jeal­ous of ‘Pink Boy’. I wanted to wear tiaras and dress like a princess when I was his age, but guess what? I came from a fam­ily of 5 kids, and my mom couldn’t afford to indulge all our lit­tle fan­tasies. So I had to wait until I grew up, moved out of the house, and got a job to spoil myself. I love pink. Both my grand­fa­ther (on my mom’s side), and my grand­mother (on my father’s side), had ‘Pink Rooms’ in their house — so that kept the dream alive.

    I think Pink Boy lives in Berke­ley Cal­i­for­nia, or the Bay Area, which is where I grew up. Basi­cally, he is in ‘tol­er­ance and self-indulgence cen­tral’. A friend of mine (born same day and year as me), who grew up in Berke­ley, told me he thought he was liv­ing ‘in the cen­ter of the universe.’

    As I said, my fam­ily was not friv­o­lous, but I did have a sense of the sur­round­ing envi­ron­ment, and the Bay Area at that time was an amaz­ing place (still is).

    As for Breast Can­cer Aware­ness, I read that for all the pink stuff and money spent and raised, no sig­nif­i­cant impact in the fight against Breast Can­cer has been made. Still, I’m all for any excuse to exploit and uti­lize one of my favorite col­ors, while rais­ing ‘aware­ness’ for a fright­ful disease.

    I wouldn’t have bought Pink Boy a tiara, or blogged about him — but I might have bought him a pony … and if he wanted to com­pete for the title of Rodeo Queen, so be it.

  • I was think­ing about that Mary Lynn. What if he stops being ‘pink boy’ and she is upset that it ruins her iden­tity as ‘pink boy’s mom’. All those gender-parenting meet­ings she’d have to miss, and the 2nd book deal that falls through…

    There is an ele­ment of the par­ent impos­ing an iden­tity on a child here that doesn’t sit right with me. Oh I don’t know I keep chang­ing my mind on this one. I am glad I am not a par­ent its so confusing.

    The thing is: I find the asso­ci­a­tion of pink with breast can­cer ridicu­lous. It is as bad as pink = gay! It’s just a colour. The cow­boys sound fun though.

  • Years ago the rodeo com­mu­nity started the “Tough Enough to Wear Pink” cam­paign to sup­port the fight against Breast Can­cer. Most rodeos now have a day devoted to the cause and all the con­tes­tants wear pink. Of course, cow­boys have always been fash­ion con­scious, obsessed with their gear — its form, func­tion, and mean­ing — and very fem­i­nized in their dress, so nat­u­rally they have embraced the hue. Many wear pink rou­tinely now. At the Roy Rogers auc­tion a few months ago I fell in love with a pink Nudie Shirt (it was paired with turquoise pants) embroi­dered with a papoose on the back. It was Roy’s of course (as opposed to Dale’s), and made in the 1950’s. Kids are going to find rea­sons to pick on other kids regard­less. I’m not at all for bul­ly­ing, it is a ter­ri­ble thing, but peo­ple need to appre­ci­ate that it is not some­thing that just hap­pens to peo­ple who choose to dress and date to their lik­ing, per­haps stand­ing out in the crowd. Pink boy is just a kid. I liked pur­ple and orange at that age, a phase I even­tu­ally grew out of, for bet­ter or worse. One thing I can tell you, Pink Boy is REALLY going to be embar­rassed when he dis­cov­ers his Mom’s blog.

  • Mary Lynn: Yes, per­haps dis­cov­er­ing his Mom’s blog about him as ‘Pink Boy’ in a few years time will turn him on to cam­ou­flage gear.

  • Good Point. You could trans­late ‘Ma Vie en Rose’ into ‘My life as a Pink Boy’ …

    I am won over by Pink Boy and his Mom.

  • Or maybe I am being harsh. This piece by that same Mom sug­gests her approach is more nuanced than I thought at first:

    http://www.sarahhoffmanwriter.com/?p=255

    Still I am not sure why she calls him a ‘pink boy’ if she wants to remove gen­der stereotypes…

  • She does appear more nuanced there, refus­ing to allow her son to be allo­cated to the ‘trans­gen­der’ cat­e­gory. I sup­pose ‘pink boy’ is a kind of short­hand. And since every­one seems to think that pink is a ‘sugar and spice’ colour, it is per­haps quite cool to put the word ‘boy’ next to it.

  • Here’s a Mom who seems con­vinced her son has a ‘Pink Brain’ and is rais­ing him accord­ingly. I don’t know if this is much of a pro­gres­sion from snips and snails myself…

    http://www.sarahhoffmanwriter.com/

  • Mark — you for­got the whole “Parts of the Brain” episode by Pinky & the Brain.

  • Doh! Thanks for locat­ing that for me, Tony. I was hav­ing another Pinky moment there.…

  • I think Mr Freud prob­a­bly never really got over the fact he had to pass through a vagina to get into this world.

  • […] Sex­ing The Brain: Neu­ro­science Vs. Neurosexism […]

  • Good­ness! Psy­cho­analy­sis is still a respected field? I have read about Freud among oth­ers and their lovely “penis envy”. i am still con­vinced Freud was suf­fer­ing from a severe case of “vagina envy” :P .

  • I’m glad you didn’t become a neu­ro­sci­en­tist, Shane. I can tell already you are far too interesting!

    I can’t think of an object from my child­hood that sym­bol­ises my lost desires. I did used to get very upset if ever I lost any­thing though. I con­vinced myself that if I could only not lose any­thing, ever, I could keep loss at bay. And that if I did lose things then ‘loss’ was all my fault. I am just glad I didn’t become a Lacan­ian psy­cho­an­a­lyst after all that. And I am glad Mark S didn’t become a soldier!

  • I absolutely love this post as since I was about six I have wanted to be (yes) a neu­ro­sci­en­tist. But, I have been per­suaded other wise by the dis­gust­ing atti­tudes of quiet a few peo­ple in that field that have told me that gen­er­ally I am dis­or­dered because I am not inter­ested in fight­ing, or play­ing sports, and I am gay and quiet camp (I can’t tell whether I am camp or not). It is such a fas­ci­nat­ing field, its such a shame its full of idiots.

  • I found ‘Mary, Mary quite con­trary’ con­fus­ing. I didn’t under­stand what was so con­trary about her, just because she had sil­ver bells and cockle shells in her gar­den. They were just there. It wasn’t her fault!

    Mary Lynn you might like this poem, it is a com­pelling argu­ment for the ‘ascetic’ lifestyle you described:

    http://www.agonia.net/index.php/poetry/13898252/Against_Coupling

  • I think “Mary, Mary quite con­trary” sealed my fate. The girl with the curl in the mid­dle of her fore­head was pop­u­lar too. I’ve been think­ing about “Cit­i­zen Kane” recently, and “rose­bud” — what is that one thing from your child­hood that moti­vates you, or is sym­bolic of your wants and desires, per­haps lost?

  • Mary Lynn: Well, it’s not a sledge. Or a paper­weight. It’s prob­a­bly my toy sol­dier col­lec­tion, I’m sorry to say.

  • When I was a kid the rhyme my mum would recite to me was:

    There was a lit­tle girl, who had a lit­tle curl
    Right in the mid­dle of her fore­head.
    When she was good, she was very very good,
    But when she was bad she was horrid!

    So I think I grew up think­ing I could either be a ‘good girl’ or a ‘very very bad girl’.… that is what comes of being brought up by feminists.

  • You are a very, very good bad girl.

  • Yes, dar­ling … it’s the only way. Still, some­day we might conspire …

  • And spoil a beau­ti­ful friendship?

  • No, you’re right. We need to admire one another from afar. In singly bliss.

  • The unfair treat­ment I wit­nessed wasn’t in many of the naughty boys’ favour at all. I think my gen­er­a­tion was the one that got all excited about sus­pen­sions and expul­sions and some unruly boys would get shunted from school to school, till none would take them and they dropped out of the sys­tem alto­gether. I befriended one such lad when he was on his last chance ticket at my school (an inner city com­pre­hen­sive). He was an anar­chist and I encour­aged him in his activ­i­ties, one of which resulted in his instant expul­sion, prob­a­bly into the void. I have felt bad ever since, and thought that there but for the ‘grace’ of class and gen­der go I …

  • Ah, yes, I did have the wrong end of the cane there.…

  • Just today I was telling (yet again) the story about how my dad always drank his cof­fee out of a proper cup and saucer, and my mom always used a mug. He was sen­ti­men­tal, and she could be quite cold, and ana­lyt­i­cal. My par­ents were het­ero (obvi­ously — they had five kids) but they did not adhere to clear gen­der roles even in the 1950’s and 1960’s, when roles were pretty severe. Viva la difference!

    I think the real area of psy­cho­analy­sis and neu­ro­science that should be explored is the asex­ual personality.

    Some peo­ple are per­fectly happy liv­ing alone, and have no need for com­pan­ion­ship or even the occa­sional fling with mem­bers of either sex. I think I just outed myself … is it the last taboo?

  • I think we should live together, Mary Lynn.

  • It all gets very com­pli­cated. And makes us think of our own child­hoods. I think there are many dif­fer­ent ways to expe­ri­ence alien­ation in child­hood. But some­how, ‘being a boy’ has a kind of ready-made iden­tikit ver­sion of alien­ation built in to our under­stand­ing of what ‘being a boy’ means.

    When I was a kid I used to get very upset at school, by how some of the ‘naughty’ boys were treated by staff. It seemed so unfair, and so likely to affect how they would be per­ceived in the future.

  • Yes, it does get very com­pli­cated and very messy — and we all end up pro­ject­ing mas­sively. Most peo­ple, even teach­ers, seem to like naughty boys and dis­like, or at least fail to warm to, the nice ones.

  • Simon Baron-Cohen. Sacha is the girl. Sorry.

  • The inter­views about that Moth­ers and daugh­ters sur­vey, in The Guardian of course. It even includes a quote from a psy­chol­o­gist echo­ing sacha baron-cohen, explain­ing a boy’s lack of inter­est in read­ing as ‘an extreme case of being a boy’…

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/oct/06/mothers-harder-on-daughters-why

  • I think we shall call him Sacha from now on.…

    The mother’s and daugh­ters sur­vey is inter­est­ing, but being ‘harder’ on their daugh­ters also means that they give them more atten­tion. It’s not ter­ri­bly sci­en­tific, but I think there is a Freudian romance between mother and son (if the baby is in any way a ‘penis-substitute’ then how much bet­ter a baby with a penis is at sub­sti­tut­ing!). But this doesn’t nec­es­sar­ily trans­late into giv­ing the boy a bet­ter start in life. Often it just means indulging him. In the worst case sce­nario it means hav­ing him act out Mum’s own uncon­scious fan­tasies about ‘snips and snails’.

  • You can tell poor Fra­zier is being neglected. He doesn’t even get a cake for his birth­day, just a layer of blue icing!

    Fem­i­nists have wel­comed the recent reports that some sci­en­tists are reject­ing gen­der bio-determinism, but they have not man­aged to lose the idea that men are aggres­sive, sex­ual preda­tors whose brains are located in their gen­i­talia. They just claim to blame this on ‘social con­di­tion­ing’ rather than nature. And as women are (nat­u­rally?) much more sen­si­tive, intel­li­gent and com­mu­nica­tive, they are the ones who can help men ‘unlearn’ their con­di­tioned forms of dom­i­nant masculinity.

    There was a sur­vey of Mums online recently about whether or not Mums treat daugh­ters more harshly than boys. The results were they did. But I thought a) they didn’t sur­vey any Dads. and b) in the accounts I read, the mums seemed to have lower expec­ta­tions of and give less atten­tion to boys, which like you say is not exactly ‘pref­er­en­tial’ treatment.

  • I’m not sure I’d want to eat even a proper cake that a dog and snails have sat on. Mind you, appar­ently I did eat worms and spi­ders when I was a kid.

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