A 21st Century Self-Love Story
by Mark Simpson
Everything you always wanted to know about the end of sexuality
(But were afraid to ask)
Back in the flaky-skinned early Nineties Mark Simpson predicted the future of men was metrosexual. How the world scoffed. But a decade into the tarty 21st Century, even he’s shocked at just what hussies today’s males have become – and the shameless, fatal Jersey Shore that masculinity has washed up on.
In metrosexy Simpson collects together his essays chronicling the emergence from its closet of man’s desire to be desired. And just how terrifyingly insatiable it turned out to be. He takes a long look at men that long to be looked at and concludes that the masculine aesthetic revolution is only just beginning to get into its sashay.
“Contrary to what you have been told,” says Simpson, “metrosexuality is not about flip-flops and facials, ‘man-bags’ or ‘manscara’. Or about men becoming ‘girlie’ or ‘gay’. It’s about men becoming everything. To themselves. In much the way that women have been for some time. It’s the end of the sexual division of bathroom and bedroom labour. It’s the end of sexuality as we’ve known it.”
In fact, metrosexuality is already so mainstream – so normal – it now has to go hardcore to attract our attention. So say hello to ‘sporno’, “where sport and gay porn get into bed while Mr Armani takes pictures.”
More fun-packed than Beck’s bulging briefs, The Situation’s six-pack, or Ronaldo’s ego, metrosexy will leave you gasping and giggling and gagging for more.
metrosexy, an Amazon Kindle original, is OUT NOW
Available for your instant pleasure from:
PRAISE FOR SIMPSON AND METROSEXY
“Wildly intelligent and terrifyingly funny, his outlandish predictions on the fate of mankind have all proved unnervingly prescient. I dread to think what he might come up with next. Read him at your leisure but ignore him at your peril.” – Jake Arnott, author of ‘The Long Firm’
“The gay Anti-Christ” – Vogue
“Much has been written about metrosexuals, but no one has done it as well as the man credited with coining the term, Mark Simpson.” – The Times of India
“If Mark Simpson says sexuality is over then unfortunately I have to concur because clearly this man has looked very closely at other men for quite some time. While they look at themselves. Busting loose the definitions of gay/straight/metrosexuality, Simpson is one of our best cultural commentators. His gaze is unwavering. He sees the beauty and the beast that is masculinity ever turning. Better still he turns his insights into lascivious, luscious, laugh out loud prose. Have a go if you think you’re hard enough.”
– Suzanne Moore, Mail on Sunday & the Guardian
“I almost hate to agree with anything he says.” – London Review of Books
“Once again Simpson applies his caustic wit to contemporary culture. He astonishes with the audacity of his insights even as he delights with the dazzle of his prose.” – Michael Arditti
“Simpson writes with enough panache to make most of his contemporaries toss their laptops in the waste-disposal and weep.”
– Simon Price, Independent on Sunday
“Mark Simpson is a skinhead Oscar Wilde, his bon mots are both alarming and amusing, getting up people’s noses and inside their trousers with equal aplomb.” – Philip Hensher
ABOUT MARK SIMPSON
English author and journalist Mark Simpson is credited/blamed for coining the word ‘metrosexual‘ in an essay titled ‘Here come the mirror men’ in the UK’s Independent newspaper in 1994.
It wasn’t however until Simpson introduced his insufferably pretty offspring to the US in 2002, naming David Beckham as the prime exemplar, that the word took off. Simpson is also attributed with introducing us to the ‘retrosexual’ (in the sense of the anti-metrosexual).
In 2010 the global cool-hunting/trend-spotting website Science of the Time described him as ‘the world’s most perceptive writer about masculinity’. In December 2008 GQ Russia listed him topless and oiled up in their top ten Things That Changed Men’s Lives, above Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sigmund Freud – and even Biotherm Homme. Both the New York Times and The London Times acclaimed his saucy concept of ‘Sporno’ as one of their ‘Ideas of the Year’.
Simpson is the author of several books including: Saint Morrissey, Male Impersonators, It’s a Queer World, Anti-Gay (Ed.), The Queen Is Dead, and Sex Terror.