Paris Attacked By Army of Aberzombies — Surrenders Instantly

101 shirt­less, hair­less pairs of per­fect pecs stop the traffic on Champs Elysees. All part of a shame­less, highly suc­cess­ful ploy by Abercrombie & Fitch to draw atten­tion to their new flag­ship store open­ing in Paris.

Back in Bushy, anti-American 2007, when A&F opened their London store I wrote about the ‘Frattish American Wet Dream Conquering the World’:

Dowdy Anti-Americanism isn’t, in the final reel, some­thing that the world’s huddled masses actu­ally want to wear. London will no doubt be a great, chest shav­ing, suc­cess for new Yankee imper­i­al­ists A&F.’

But one that will be dwarfed, I’m sure, by the shriek­ing, faint­ing, hair-pulling suc­cess of any store they open in that sup­posed cap­ital of America-hating – Paris.

 

4 thoughts on “Paris Attacked By Army of Aberzombies — Surrenders Instantly

  1. American retail com­pan­ies are claim­ing to be look­ing ener­get­ic­ally to be expand­ing all of their mar­kets over­seas, since the American mar­ket is shrink­ing rap­idly to the %10 of people who make any money to speak of.

    The right wings rapid suc­cess at cre­at­ing unem­ploy­ment by hav­ing all of our pro­duc­tion removed over­seas to save the cor­por­a­tions scads of money on top of cor­por­ate wel­fare and redu­cing tax­a­tion mainly to the lower classes, leaves no one with money to spend on cloths. So while we become dirt poor, Europe,Asia and the third world will become will Americanized because America can ill afford it.

  2. Maybe they’re all cow­boys from texas. Bow-legged-ness is an attract­ive qual­ity though.

  3. Alas, I can’t claim that coinage.

    The scary thing is they could be French. Or Italian. Or American. Or British. Or Polish. And in fact, they’re prob­ably all of those nation­al­it­ies and more, flown in from around the world to bring Paris to its knees with their irres­ist­ible blandness.

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