“When You Gotta Big Dick, You Don’t Gotta Do Nothin!”

Mike De Luca (played with sweaty verve by Jordan Nice) is an unemployed, rather lazy young Italian-American chap living in blue-collar, post-industrial Philly who decides to go with the metrosexy times and make his fame and fortune by turning his manhood into cash. Whipping it out on webcam for the punters, male and female.

In his Ma’s front room.

As he puts it in a catch-phrase even more salient and wise than ‘Gym. Tan. Laundry’:

“When you gotta big dick, you don’t gotta do nothin! Life comes to YOU!”

So true, Mike, so true. You don’t even need to go to the gym. Or the laundry.

Big Dick Mike has gone one stage further than that other Italian-American Mikey ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino, the real star of Jersey Shore, who has already of course made his name and fortune by commodifying his body. For all the machismo, Mikey Sorrentino in many ways occupies the position of voluptuous female glamour model getting her tits out for the paparazzi – a glamour model who just happens to be penised. (Though if the bitchy rumours are to be believed, not so much.)

Mike De Luca on the other hand is all cock. Which he has totally commodified. If not very successfully yet.

The Big Dick Mike Show is a great idea for a sit-com, and also a pointed commentary on where masculinity is at in a mediated, totally tarty world.

It’s also much more entertaining than that dreary, moralising TV series Hung. Let’s hope Mike ‘The Erection’ De Luca gets a Network deal soon. And flops it out coast to coast, showing Mikey Sorrentino what a real ‘Situation’ looks like.

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3 thoughts on ““When You Gotta Big Dick, You Don’t Gotta Do Nothin!”

  1. Matt: It’s a sign of A&F’s WASPy snobbery that they thought that this would be good publicity for them.

    Joe: Thanks for the penis grammar lesson. Perhaps though you should be delivering it to Mike.

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