Upset Stomach? Try Swallowing Several Fireman

Tell me it’s not just me. Tell me that the admen who came up with this commercial for an antacid have been watching too much porn too. (There’s an English version here – but it’s even more absurd when you can understand what they’re saying.)

Damn Right Your Dad Swallowed

You may remember I couldn’t resist poking fun a while back at Canadian Club’s ‘Your Dad Wasn’t A Metrosexual’ poster, the one with with the tag line ‘Damn Right Your Dad Drank It’.  It turns out there were several instalments in that faux retro campaign, including ‘Your Dad Never Tweezed Anything’, the very appetising ‘Your Mom Wasn’t Dad’s First’, and the positively lipsmacking, ‘Your Dad Had a Van For a Reason’. (I kid you not.) It appears that the campaign received some bad press in […]

Twinsome Devils and the Narcissus Complex

Mark Simpson paints a portrait of a clonosexual world of Dorians (Arena Hommes Plus, Winter 2008, collected in Metrosexy) Most ads these days aren’t worth a first glance. But earlier this year D&G Time launched a heavily-rotated global campaign directed by Hype Williams that was definitely worth a second. If you looked hard enough, you could see right into the mirrored heart of the 21st Century – a ‘new’ century that is now nearly a decade old. Not since the Levis ‘male striptease’ ads of the […]

How Eighties Advertising Made Everyone Gay

by Mark Simpson (GT Magazine, November 2008) Why, I wonder, are gays – or at least the busybody, button-holing, milk-monitor types – so keen on ads being nice to them and telling the world it’s OK to be homo? Especially when this strategy frequently leaves them with mayo on their faces? Stonewall’s apoplexy over the pulling of the Heinz ‘gay kiss’ ad earlier this year is a messy case-in-point. Excuse me, but it wasn’t a gay kiss, it was a joke: Heinz’s sandwich spread is […]

Becks Does Freddie (Doing Becks)

How much bigger can the cotton-clad packages in men’s underwear ads get, I wonder, before they are literally shoved down our throats? And if they are, will any of us be so impolite as to gag? Even though good quality cotton is so absorbent? Above is Beck’s latest sporno for Emporio Armani underwear, due to air in early 2008. Below is fellow-footballer Freddie Ljunberg’s 2006 Calvin Klein campaign. Do these chaps live together? I mean, they seem to share the same type of fancy underwear, […]

Skinstorm in a Teacup

This Eurostar ad used to ‘lure’, as the Daily Mail headline put it, Belgians to London has kicked up more of a stink in the UK than a blocked urinal in a boozer at chucking out time. Apparently some wrinkly-nosed types over here think it’s ‘offensive’. I happen not to find pissing skinheads as ‘alluring’ as the Daily Mail seems to: it’s not really my cup of peculiar – but I rather like this ad. Of course it’s meant to be slightly provocative, but it’s […]