I (Still) Want Your sex: The Sun & George Michael’s privates

In case you thought I was joking when I wrote about the gentlemen of the British press being unable to leave George Michael’s penis alone, today’s Sun newspaper, twisted sister tabloid to the News of the World scandal sheet that ran the original front page Hampstead Heath expose, provides further, lurid proof of the seriousness of their passionate fascination. In a torrid piece snappily titled ‘Are there no depths George won’t plumb in pursuit of lust?’ by Kelvin Mackenzie, a former editor of the best-selling paper, and legendary […]

Suburbohemian rhapsody: review of ‘Berlin Bromley’

by Mark Simpson (Independent on Sunday, 23/07/06) “Oh, Bertie, when are you going to write your memoirs?” asks punk academic Jon Savage at a chance meeting with the author in Berlin. Berties replies: “Oh, I don’t know, Jon… what would I write, a teenage boy lost in suburbia, prostitution and drugs?” This, you’ll be glad to hear, is exactly what we get in Berlin Bromley (SAF), a “post-glam, pre-punk version of The Naked Civil Servant”. This memoir consists of the day-dreamy reminiscences of a pathologically, fabulously narcissistic […]

The ‘new macho’ – just older, saggier, daggier metrosexuality

ABC News tells us that ‘Metrosexual is out – macho is in’ It offers little evidence of this assertion other than a product-placement style interview with the editor of a glossy men’s magazine who will clearly say anything to sell his mag, including stuff like ‘the new macho is the old macho’ (since when did the old macho buy glossy men’s lifestyle magazines?), and citing ‘killing spiders’ as the test of machismo.  But we’ll let that pass. After all, this is the Twenty First Century and no one has […]

Sporno: where sport and porn meet and produce a spectacular money shot

Just in time for the World Cup the July issue of the re-launched OUT features an essay by yours truly on the post-metrosexual pornolization of sport – or what I dub ‘sporno’.  Here’s a (breathless) taster: ‘Sportsmen on this side of the Atlantic are increasingly openly acknowledging and flirting with their gay fans, a la David Beckham and Freddie Ljunberg (the man who actually looks the way Beckham thinks he looks). Both these thoroughbreds have posed for spreads in gay magazines and both have welcomed […]

Superman and his Supersexuality

Is Superman gay? This ‘pressing’ question about what the Man of Steel does with his flying package (‘is it a bird? is it a plane?’) when it’s not held in by industrial strength spandex seems to be enormously exercising the media in the run up to Bryan Singer’s Superman Returns. All this shocking speculation about Superman’s Supersexuality has been prompted by a not very shocking article in an American gay magazine about gay interest in superheroes.  It didn’t actually claim Superman was gay but was cannily given the front-page headline […]

Queer Eye For the Tory Guy

When, I wonder, am I going to receive my fee for my makeover of the Tory Party?  Metrodaddy, alias yours truly, appears to have been cast as the (reluctant) queer eye of the British Tory guy.  As yet another sign of the total mainstreaming of male aesthetics, that once reliably retrosexual party that seems to have gone raving metrosexual – or, rather, ‘mincing metrosexual’ in the inadvertently revealing words of its chairman this week.  First they elect a new, young, (relatively) stylish, rather moisturised, leader […]

Careerists, capitalists and creeps

Review of ‘Britain’s New Power Elites’, Hywel Williams (Constable, £12.99) by Mark Simpson Appeared in Independent on Sunday, 14 May 2006 ‘Among the most significant achievements of the modern British elite,” argues Hywel Williams, limbering up in the early pages of his polemic against Britain’s rulers in the form of an incompetent executive class, a meaningless political class and a degraded professional class, “is the promulgation of the essentially ideological idea that Britain is an anti-ideological place. Criticism of its fundamental features can therefore be dismissed […]