Category Archives: sex

Bummed up the arse

The world of straight trade may have long since disappeared from the streets of London but if you still hanker after that lost economy of boisterousness, straight nightclub toilets might be a frutiful place to loiter. Preferably with a line or two of coke (Colombia’s own version of the Gay Bomb – or ‘conversion powder’ as a …

June 20, 2007 – 10:18 am | By Mark Simpson | Posted in commentary, masculinity, sex | Tagged , | Comments (2)

Trading in the past: Queer London

  Once upon a time the streets of the capital heaved with jolly sailors and guardsmen just looking for gentlemen to have fun with. Then gay liberation came along and ruined it for everyone, complains Mark Simpson (Independent on Sunday — 11 September, 2005) I consider myself something of a traditionalist. I enjoy traditional activities, …

June 18, 2007 – 8:29 pm | By Mark Simpson | Posted in commentary, journalism, masculinity, review, sex, working class | Tagged , , , , | Comments (6)

The Crapsex Guide

‘Most Britons are unhappy with their sex lives’, according to a recent sex survey. Apparently they don’t enjoy it very much (nearly half don’t orgasm every time — and their partners don’t even notice). Most of all, they complain that their ‘busy lifestyles’ mean they don’t have enough time to have ‘really satisfying sex’. No …

May 2, 2007 – 3:15 pm | By Mark Simpson | Posted in commentary, sex | Tagged , , | Comments (1)

Finally, a condom for butter-fingers…

Is this the end of frantically trying to tear shiny foil with lube-covered fingers while your arousal ticks ever downwards and your partner admires the wallpaper? Consumerism, in its endless quest to make everything oh-so effortless, does also tend to make things somewhat pointless. Here however it actually helps you to maintain your pointyness. All …

November 18, 2006 – 2:30 pm | By Mark Simpson | Posted in commentary, masculinity, sex | Comments Off

Oral Sex in the City

Mark Simpson on why God gave (most) men backbones longer than their penis (Originally appeared in Attitude, 1998, as ‘Slick Willy’) Once upon a time, becoming a rock star was the only way a young male could be assured of getting free blow-jobs from females. This, not private jets or yachts or tax havens or leather …

November 6, 2006 – 4:01 pm | By Mark Simpson | Posted in commentary, masculinity, sex | Tagged , , , , | Comments Off

Michael Barrymore’s Big Brother Comeback

‘Shamed TV entertainer’ – as he was re-Christened by the British press – Michael Barrymore’s new autobiography ‘Awight Now: Setting the Record Straight’ has just been published by Simon & Schuster. I’ve yet to see a copy, but the title and the blurb, the publicity, the large publisher behind it and the reports of a …

October 2, 2006 – 4:49 pm | By Mark Simpson | Posted in article, celebrity, commentary, gay, journalism, masculinity, popular culture, sex | Tagged , , , , , | Comments (5)

Sexual Outlaws: ‘Gay For Pay’ Paratroopers

This month’s Details magazine carries a letter (which Details strangely neglected to show to me) by veteran gay writer John Rechy, author of the cult 60s hustler novels ‘City of Night’ and ‘Numbers’, and the 70s plea for homo tolerance ‘The Sexual Outlaw’ (books I enjoyed as teenager in the 80s). He takes issue with …

August 25, 2006 – 4:47 pm | By Mark Simpson | Posted in bisexuality, commentary, gay, masculinity, porn, sex | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Comments (61)

Wanking On: How Masturbation Became Aspiration

Mark Simpson gets to grips with a man’s favourite bad habit ‘WANKER!’. A bastard blue van has just cut me up, pulling out suddenly from a side-street right in front of me, forcing me to brake. Hard. So I respond in the customary English way: winding down the window, leaning out and calling him, at the …

August 4, 2006 – 1:24 pm | By Mark Simpson | Posted in article, commentary, current affairs, journalism, masculinity, porn, sex | Tagged , , , , , | Comments (8)

Promiscuity into bureaucracy: Gaydar and online cruising

The MP Chris Bryant has faced calls for his resignation for appearing in his pants on a gay website — but others see Gaydar as the future of dating. So what is it really like? Mark Simpson speaks with the (exhausted) voice of experience (Independent on Sunday, 7 December 2003) Gay men are having sex! …

July 29, 2006 – 6:14 pm | By Mark Simpson | Posted in article, commentary, gay, journalism, masculinity, personal, sex | Tagged , , , , , | Comments (2)

Mark Simpson’s Inside Story on the US Army’s Gay Porn Scandal

The current (May) issue of the proudly metrosexual Details magazine includes an ‘undercover’ exclusive by yours truly on the globally-reported gay porn scandal involving paratroopers from the elite 82nd Airborne, ‘America’s Honor Guard’. A couple of years ago my buddy and The Queen is Dead co-author Steve Zeeland tipped me off to the existence of activeduty.com, …

May 6, 2006 – 2:36 pm | By Mark Simpson | Posted in bisexuality, commentary, homosexuality, masculinity, metrosexual, porn, sex | Tagged , , , , | Comments (1)