Category Archives: film

Brando Bukkake

  Tip: Keltik and terrysmalloy 

May 14, 2013 – 7:54 pm | By Mark Simpson | Posted in 1950s, bisexuality, celebrity, film | Tagged , | Comments (4)

“You people are insane!! These movies are TERRIBLE!!!”

What’s your favourite scene in Tim Burton, Johnny Depp, Bill Murray and Martin Landau’s best movie? (I’ve written an appreciation of Ed Wood for the new online arts mag Culture Kicks.) Here’s mine.

January 28, 2013 – 4:07 pm | By Mark Simpson | Posted in film, popular culture | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Comments (0)

The Swishy Villainy and Psychodrama of Skyfall

Mark Simpson fondles the pecs and thighs of James Bond’s latest ‘outing’ When at their first meeting in Skyfall a rather forwards Raul Silva, played by a bleached-blond Javier Bardem, takes caddish advantage of James Bond’s/Daniel Craig’s indisposition – tied as he is to a chair – running his hands over 007’s craggy face, ripped …

November 20, 2012 – 12:58 pm | By Mark Simpson | Posted in film | Tagged , , , , , | Comments (2)

Does Magic Mike Have Anything To Stick Himself With?

The animated gif above will save you £8 and 109 minutes of disappointment. Yes, I’ve done my invert duty and been to see Magic Mike. Which, according to The New York Times, gay men are ‘flocking’ to see in numbers not seen since Brokeback Mountain. Even if they’re not all as jaded as me I …

July 10, 2012 – 2:38 pm | By Mark Simpson | Posted in commentary, film | Tagged , , , , , | Comments (15)

“Honey, you don’t wanna know what I have to do for twenties.”

April 24, 2012 – 12:45 pm | By Mark Simpson | Posted in film | Tagged , , | Comments (3)

Friday Night and Sunday Afternoon — A Delightful ‘Weekend’

When I first saw the trailer for ‘Weekend’ it seemed to be a tale of two beards that meet in a gay club in Nottingham on a Friday night and then proceed fall for one another over the next couple of days in a council flat. And then I watched it. Once I got past …

March 16, 2012 – 1:47 pm | By Mark Simpson | Posted in film | Tagged , , , , | Comments (3)

Channing Tatum — The Modern Male Stripped Bare

I like Channing Tatum. I like the fact he hasn’t got a fashion beard. I like his open, boringly beautiful boyish face. I like his GI Joe body. I like the kind of slightly goofy characters he plays. I like that he worked in a strip joint before he started stripping off for Hollywood. I …

February 8, 2012 – 4:01 pm | By Mark Simpson | Posted in commentary, film | Tagged , , , , , | Comments (17)

Why ‘Warrior’ Isn’t That Kind of Girl

Middlesbrough, Teeside, one of the last steel-making towns in the UK or in fact one of the last places in the UK where they still make anything, is probably the right place to go and see, as I did last week, Warrior, the recently-released, much-hyped MMA Rocky remake set in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Warrior is essentially …

October 5, 2011 – 2:57 pm | By Mark Simpson | Posted in commentary, film, popular culture | Tagged , , , , , , | Comments (7)

The Gayness of Top Gun: Feel The Need

Frankly, we could watch a few more hours of Baldwin chewing the scenery as Pacino and Hader flabbergasted that the producers don’t understand how “gay” their script is: “I say, ‘Ice Man’s on my tail, he’s coming hard.’ I literally said that to a bathroom attendant last night.” (I’d like to embed here a clip of …

September 27, 2011 – 11:52 am | By Mark Simpson | Posted in commentary, film | Tagged , , , , , | Comments (3)

Chris Evans is Captain Cocktease

You know how everyone complains that the best bits of a movie are in the trailer these days? Well, in the case of the new super-hero blockbuster Captain America the ONLY bits are in the trailer. But WHAT bits they are! At around c. 1.40 mins Chris Evans’ oiled bazookas burst out of the instant stud machine he’s …

August 8, 2011 – 10:19 pm | By Mark Simpson | Posted in film | Tagged , , , | Comments (6)