Staring At The Male Boobs of Baywatch

‘You should look at my face’, says Alexandra Daddario to Zac Efron after accusing him of staring at her breasts. ‘I’m trying,’ replies Efron, ‘but it’s so close to your boobs.’ So far so Babewatch. But the recently-released trailer for the upcoming Seth Gordon directed Baywatch movie knows times and tastes and focal points have changed. After this exchange about boobs, the very next scene shows Efron stripping off his shirt and flashing his tits and abs on a jetski. The boobs on display in the trailer are mostly […]

Get Hur! How Gay Subtexts Became Ancient History

by Mark Simpson (Originally appeared on Out.com 18 August, 2016) We don’t really do subtexts in the see-through, digital 21st Century. Sextexts, definitely. Subtweets, possibly. Subtexts, not so much. Who has the time? Who can even be bothered with having a subconscious? Subtexts are so analogue. Perhaps this is why Toby Kebbell who plays Messala in the 2016 remake of Ben Hur with Jack Heston as Hur, announced recently that there is ‘no gay sub plot’ in the new version. Explaining that it’s ‘not necessary […]

Bomb-Damaged London & Its Bomb-Damaged Kids

Saw Hue & Cry t’other night on the tellybox for the first time since I was a nipper. This recently digitally restored kid-oriented Ealing Comedy presents as its climax a London-wide mobilisation of boys (and a few tom-boys) for a ‘big adventure’ – beating up baddies that the police had failed to nab, or even notice. I always loved that kind of film – in which kids show-up the groan-ups, and also give them a good hiding. Officially the first Ealing comedy, it was directed […]

Alain Delon’s Slaughtering Looks

Perhaps it’s Madge overload, but I completely missed this rather catching ‘Beautiful Killer’ tribute to the very fetching Swiss-French actor Alain Delon that she included on her 2012 MDNA album. This YouTube compilation of breathtaking Alain Delon moments reminds us of how preposterously pretty the young Monsieur Delon was. He makes Johnny Depp look almost plain. Even laid out on the cover of The Smiths’ The Queen is Dead he looks ravishing. Truly, an immortal. Tip: Jason R

The Swishy Villainy & Psychodrama of Skyfall

Mark Simpson fondles the pecs and thighs of James Bond’s latest ‘outing’ When at their first meeting in Skyfall a rather forwards Raul Silva, played by a bleached-blond Javier Bardem, takes caddish advantage of James Bond’s/Daniel Craig’s indisposition – tied as he is to a chair – running his hands over 007’s craggy face, ripped chest and powerful thighs, and flirtatiously-threatingly suggesting “Well, first time for everything, Bond…” you could feel the audience in my local cinema freeze. And when Bond delivered the now-famous laconic […]