Category Archives: metrosexual

Meat the Spornosexuals

The second gen­er­a­tion of met­ro­sexu­als are cum­ming. And this time it’s hard­core by Mark Simpson What is it about male hip­sters and their strange, pal­lid, highly ambi­val­ent fas­cin­a­tion with bod­ies beefier and sex­ier than their own? Which means, of course, pretty much every­one? You may remem­ber last year that last year the Guardian colum­nist and […]

Metrosexuality & the Selfie

Metrodaddy Mark Simpson was recently email inter­viewed by Beverly Parungao for a Sydney Morning Herald piece titled ‘Are Men Becoming Too Metrosexual?’ . Below are his unapo­lo­getic, uncir­cum­cised replies. BP: What is driv­ing the met­ro­sexual move­ment? MS: Self-love – and a cer­tain amount of self-loathing – is cer­tainly a power­ful dynamo. But ulti­mately what we’re see­ing here is noth­ing less […]

Why Men Love Shoes

Metrosexual goes main­stream as men out­spend women on foot­wear’ announced a head­line in the Daily Telegraph last week, deal­ing a death blow to yet another stand-up comedian gendered gen­er­al­isa­tion stand-by. I have to admit that even metrodaddy was some­what taken aback that men have over­hauled women in the shoe fet­ish­ism depart­ment, and so quickly. But this may […]

I’d F*ck Me: Mirror Man-Love

 WARNING: hip­sters and gay bears may want to watch this ad back­wards. I’m rather taken with this refresh­ingly dir­ect ad cur­rently air­ing on MTV for a Philips Norelco product that prom­ises to ‘shave, style and groom’. And also you’d be for­given for think­ing, suck your cock. A young man approaches the mir­ror, face and chest hidden […]

Use Our Straight Acting Cosmetics — Or Everyone Will Know You’re a Drag Queen

A well-executed, very funny Brazilian ad from Ogilvy & Mather for Dove Men + Care sham­poo that is bound to go viral (trans­lated here). And ads that send up the absurdity of other ads often are very funny. But when an ad does, the absurdity that it’s usu­ally frantic­ally try­ing to dis­tract you from its own. […]

David Bowie’s Bisensuality

The DNA test res­ults are in. And I can exclus­ively reveal that the metrosexual’s real daddy is… David Robert Jones. Whatever the truth of Bowie’s own sexu­al­ity, his early 70s intru­sion into the liv­ing rooms of sub­urban England was the most power­ful and pro­voc­at­ive sexual lib­er­a­tion parade ever seen in the UK. He was later to beat […]

Becks’ Bum: Satisfaction or Disappointment?

I don’t have much to say about the much-discussed latest Beckham ad for his H&M pants, dir­ec­ted by fel­low LA-loving Brit Guy Ritchie, in which he runs through Beverly Hills in his white slip­pers as the props and scenery con­spire to remove his clothes, Cupid Stunt–like. Except: Those slip­pers must be really, really snug to stay on. And: […]

Nightmare Balls

Once again, I’m very grate­ful that American fem­in­ists have sci­en­tific­ally proven (by look­ing at dusty back issues of Rolling Stone magazine) that men aren’t ‘really’ objec­ti­fied, only women are. Because it means that this eye-popping ad for toi­let cleaner fea­tur­ing a tarty boy band sus­pen­ded beneath the rim of a toi­let in cages, implor­ing ‘baby’ to […]

Mirror Men on Canvas — and in Crocs

The Delhi-based artist Pallavi Singh has been med­it­at­ing on met­ro­sexu­al­ity in the Indian sub­con­tin­ental con­text again and has very kindly sent me these rather won­der­ful new paint­ings and given me per­mis­sion to post them here. I think my per­sonal favour­ite is ‘Rise of Mirror Man’ — I par­tic­u­larly like how his Crocs match his sus­pend­ers. Here’s […]

Nail Varnish For Warriors

  Tip: Benjamin D