God Save The Sea Queen

Gibraltar, otherwise known as ‘The Rock’, is the full stop to the sentence of Europe. It has been besieged no less than fourteen times. The Ancients thought it was a pillar holding up the end of the World. In the Middle Ages Jews fled here from the red-hot instruments of the Spanish Inquisition. Aeons ago, the last survivors of the ancestors of Homo sapiens also retreated to this toothy promontory of the Iberian peninsula, lasting a few, increasingly lonely, thousand years more in the dark […]

Sex With Someone You Love

To celebrate National Masturbation Month HuffPo have posted a version of an essay of mine collected in Sex Terror on how ‘self-abuse’ came out of the cubicle, tissue stuck to its shoe: You see, wanking is a normal form of human sexual behavior, and intercourse is the deviation. Most men, even those in long-term relationships — sorry, especially those in long-term relationships — have orgasmed alone more times than they have done with others. After all, we peak sexually long before anyone will go out with us. […]

‘Sex Terror’ Now Available on Kindle – Sweet Dreams.

SEX TERROR Erotic Misadventures in Pop Culture Mark Simpson This book will change the way you think about sex. It may even put you off it altogether. NOW AVAILABLE ON KINDLE  Amazon.com * Amazon.co.uk * Amazon.de * Amazon.fr * Amazon.es * Amazon.it Amazon.co.jp * Amazon.com.br * Amazon.ca * Amazon.in * Amazon.com.au  In his full-frontal follow-up to his widely acclaimed It’s a Queer World, Mark Simpson dispenses with the monkey business of sexuality and gets to grips with the organ grinder itself: SEX. Subjecting our saucy new god to his sacrilegious satire, Simpson sins against every contemporary commandment about doing the nasty: It must be hot. It […]

Casual Pick-Up

A couple of miles past Newark, bored and hot and top down, I zoom past a crop-haired sexy young lout in a T-shirt and jeans with his thumb out. I eye him in the rear-view mirror as he shrinks into the distance. I don’t give lifts to hitchhikers. It’s asking for trouble. OK, so I used to hitchhike everywhere myself years ago when I didn’t have the price of a bus ticket to my name. But now I have my own car, a nice sporty […]