Tag Archives: David Beckham

Reset the Gaydar — Tom Daley’s Not Gay

(Originally appeared on Guardian CiF, 11/09/13) Tom Daley isn’t gay. But the bronze medal­list Olympic diver and presenter of celebrity Speedo show Splash! – recently voted ‘World’s Sexiest Man’ by the read­ers of gay mag Attitude – doesn’t mind if you think he is. Last week­end he told The Mirror: “I think it’s funny when people say […]

The Perfect Mandate: Obama & Becks (& the Media)

David Beckham, global poster-boy for met­ro­sexu­al­ity, sport­ing an Edwardian beard, had a hot date with Obama at the White House today. Though he had to bring his team-mates along as LA Galaxy were being hon­oured with a recep­tion after win­ning the Major League Soccer Cup, America’s equi­val­ent of the Premiership. After list­ing the soc­cer star’s achieve­ments, introducing […]

Metrosexual Smoothie

Burger King have come a long way from their ‘man­them’ anti-metro back­lash days of the mid Noughties in which they lit­er­ally sang the praises of fatty food. Now their ads star the ulti­mate met­ro­sexual smoothie, David Beckham, who is given the kind of soft-focus, mouth-watering treat­ment in this ad that used to be reserved for their ‘man-food’ Whoppers. […]

David Beckham’s Total Package — And his Fascinating Foot

On The Jonathan Ross Show last night David Beckham was the star guest. He looked great of course. But I kept find­ing myself star­ing at Mr Beckham’s foot. Naturally, it was shod taste­fully and expens­ively — in keep­ing with his John Hamm hairdo and 60s-style black whistle and flute. But that wasn’t what drew my […]

David Beckham’s ‘End Result’ — Can You Handle It?

Better order some indus­trial strength lip balm and prac­tise sup­press­ing the gag reflex. Shameless sporno star and über-metrosexual David Beckham is ram­ming his eye-popping lunch­box down our col­lect­ive throats again. This time with a media ‘offens­ive’ for his own line of men’s undies – and strangely shape­less vests – from Swedish-owned high street fash­ion chain […]

Sporno

Mark Simpson on how sport and porn got into bed — while D&G and Mr Armani took pic­tures.… (Out magazine, May 2006; expan­ded for The V&A’s ‘Fashion V Sport’ cata­logue, June 2008. Also col­lec­ted in ‘Metrosexy’) You might think that it was Italy’s greater ball skills, or stam­ina, or team spirit that won them the […]

David Beckham’s Package: Don’t Handle The Goods, Madam

After all those ads in which Becks thrus­ted his giant Armani wrapped pack­age in our faces if not down our throats, an Italian satir­ical TV show decided to do a little con­sumer product test­ing.  You know that in Italy they like to handle the saus­age and toma­toes — and haggle over the price — before […]

There’s Something About Henry

A friend has just drawn my atten­tion to this teas­ing ‘Letter to David Beckham’ by Mr Rollins recor­ded a couple of years ago, warn­ing Becks when he moves to LA to play for LA Galaxy he’s not going to be so spe­cial: the town is already full of ‘met­ro­sexu­als… with crunchy hair and dis­tressed jeans and absolutely […]

Becks’ Public Service Announcement on Dangers of Botox

Tip: Donald Krolak

Twinsome Devils and the Narcissus Complex

Mark Simpson paints a por­trait of a clono­sexual world of Dorians (Arena Hommes Plus, Winter 2008, and col­lec­ted in Metrosexy) Most ads these days aren’t worth a first glance. But earlier this year D&G Time launched a heavily-rotated global cam­paign dir­ec­ted by Hype Williams that was def­in­itely worth a second. If you looked hard enough, you […]