Cristiano Ronaldo The Electronic Sex Doll

This ad starring Cristiano Ronaldo flogging body exercise electrodes called SIXPAD – or SEXPAD? – has been airing UK television for some months now, but every time it comes on it still makes me gape – pardon my French. It’s both funny and disturbing, and in truth I had avoided writing about it until now because I hoped it was just a bad dream (I usually glimpse it on late-night TV). But it isn’t going away. The ad itself is incredibly camp. Or kitsch. Or […]

Pre-Activated Glutes – With Added Sleet

Not entirely sure how useful their fitness advice is – nor how you ‘pre-activate’ your glutes without using lube. But full marks to the Kilted Coaches for doing their kilted/un-kilted vids in Scottish sleet. Next to what looks like a busy A-road.  

Inside Spornosexual Pride

Mark Simpson goes to BodyPower, the UK’s biggest fitness expo, & tries not to stare too hard. Even though staring is very welcome. (Originally appeared in The Daily Telegraph 4 August, 2016) “Would you like me to take my top off?” is the shy and retiring usual response when you ask a chap here if he minds having his photo taken. Followed by much flexing. Those that are actually wearing a top. Many are just wearing a flawless tan. Or vests – or ‘tanks’ as they’re […]

Spornosexual Steve Cook on the Meaning of Metrosexual

While prepping for my Barcelona lecture, ‘From Metrosexual to Spornosexual – a Permanent, Spectacular Masculine Revolution’, this video serendipitously popped up into MetroDaddy’s timeline on Twitter. It’s an exploration of the meaning of being called ‘metrosexual’ by professional bodybuilder and popular online fitness guru Steve Cook, who has his own YouTube channel SwoldierNation where he offers workout tips, vlogs, and totally ‘hench’ eye candy to those who wanna be like him or just wanna be with him. There’s a whole humpy army of these online fitness coaches/ exhibitionists today […]

Why Men Are Getting Fatter AND Fitter

Men are increasingly expected to have beach-ready bodies. But some men have given up.  by Mark Simpson Originally appeared in the Daily Telegraph 15 May, 2015 Britain is getting bigger. Positively massive, if recent reports are to be believed. Last week, the World Health Organisation published some hefty, earth-shaking figures which publically body-shamed the UK as having one of the highest obesity rates in Europe and suggesting that by 2030 a whopping 74 per cent of British men and 64 per cent of women will […]