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Why We Still Love The People’s Première

Posted by in commentary, politics

In that auto­bi­o­graphy you may pos­sibly have noticed former British PM Tony Blair is cur­rently tout­ing, the one called ‘A Journey’ (a title that mas­ter­fully cap­tures the sub­limely faux mod­esty of its sub­ject), Blair com­pares him­self to Princess Di. ‘“We were both, in our own way, manip­u­lat­ors” — good at grasp­ing the feel­ings of oth­ers and instinct­ively play­ing on them.’ The papers of course have seized on the People’s Premier’s can­did­ness, mak­ing head­lines out of it.  That and his obser­va­tion (con­veyed in a kind of morse prose) that Gordon Brown had:…read more

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Dave’s Posh Skin, Nick’s Cute Hair, and Gordon’s Bleached Rictus

Posted by in commentary

by Mark Simpson It’s dif­fi­cult not to feel a little sorry for Gordon Brown. Even if you really don’t want to. I mean, ima­gine spend­ing over a dec­ade try­ing to wrest the lead­er­ship of the Labour Party — and the UK — from that insuf­fer­ably posh boy Tony Blair and when you finally suc­ceed the global eco­nomy goes down the toi­let.  Worse – much, much worse – you find your­self at elec­tion time appear­ing on The X Factor faced by not one but two all-singing, all-dancing Baby Blairs. Even posher and…read more

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Oh Do Stop Nailing Blair to the Cross: He Enjoys It

Posted by in commentary, politics

Tony Blair’s Jesus Christ Sings Edith Piaf per­form­ance yes­ter­day at The Queen Elizabeth Conference Centre, giv­ing testi­mony at the Chilcot enquiry into Britain’s involve­ment in the Iraq War, dis­ap­poin­ted a lot of people who hoped he would get nailed, or at least express a few regrets. I’m not one of them.  Now, I enjoy a good scour­ging as much as the next man, espe­cially in the wake of a war that has cost so many lives, but it seems to me that the expect­a­tions of the media and pub­lic played…read more

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Queer Eye of the Tory Guy Headed For Number 10

Posted by in commentary

After yesterday’s dis­astrous Nantwich by-election defeat for Gordon Brown by David Cameron’s resur­gent, re-branded, made-over, mois­tur­ised Tories, which came hard on the heels of the drub­bing the Brown One received a few weeks ago in the English local coun­cil elec­tions, the media — and a sub­stan­tial part of the Labour Party itself — is now bay­ing for his head. I hate to say I told you so. But I told you so. Twenty months ago, in the dying days of Tony’s Premiership, when the media was get­ting all excited about Leader-in-Waiting…read more

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Gordon Who?

Posted by in politics

Excuse me, but who is our Prime Minister? No, really, who is he? Yesterday I saw a dour look­ing Scottish geezer who looked like he’d spent too long work­ing in the base­ment of a bank give a pain­fully awk­ward speech out­side Number 10 about the chan­ging need for change and how he will try us to his utmost, before grim­acing for the cam­eras and scur­ry­ing inside. People tell me that he’s now our leader for at least the next couple of years. That’s funny, I don’t remem­ber vot­ing for him at the…read more

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Dame Democracy is a Size Queen

Posted by in article, commentary, journalism, politics

This week British PM Tony Blair is finally hand­ing over the reins of Government to former Chancellor Gordon Brown’s ‘big clunk­ing fists’. Despite what they say about what big fists mean (big sur­gical gloves), it remains to be seen what exactly is under our Scottish premier’s kilt. It won’t be until New Labour’s newly crowned king stands over the vent­il­a­tion grill of the next General Election that Gordon will be revealed as either toss­ing a big fat caber of a man­date — or merely an embar­rass­ing minor­ity. Tony Blair must…read more

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Gordon Isn’t a Moron — But He’s a Terrible Liar

Posted by in commentary, politics

Gordon Brown, Labour’s leader-in-waiting, can’t win the next elec­tion. This week’s address to the Labour Party Conference might as well have been his speech con­ced­ing vic­tory to David Cameron. Why is Gordie such a liab­il­ity? Not because of the dis­dain­ful ver­dict of dodgy Newsnight focus groups, or his recent impa­tient unleash­ing of political-suicide bombers on Number 10, or even because his Conference speech with its lib­eral use of the word ‘aspir­a­tions’ soun­ded like that of an ambi­tious TUC chief, but because he’s such a bad liar. The proof? The most embar­rass­ing,…read more

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