marksimpson.com

Meat the Spornosexual

Posted by in masculinity, metrosexual

The second gen­er­a­tion of met­ro­sexu­als are cum­ming. And this time it’s hard­core by Mark Simpson What is it about male hip­sters and their strange, pal­lid, highly ambi­val­ent fas­cin­a­tion with bod­ies beefier and sex­ier than their own? Which means, of course, pretty much every­one? You may remem­ber last year that last year the Guardian colum­nist and TV presenter Charlton Brooker had a very messy bowel-evacuating panic attack over the self-sexualisation of the male body exhib­ited in real­ity show Geordie Shore. Now the hip­ster bible Vice have run a long, pas­sion­ate –…read more

Chris Evans is Captain Cocktease

Posted by in film

You know how every­one com­plains that the best bits of a movie are in the trailer these days? Well, in the case of the new super-hero block­buster Captain America the ONLY bits are in the trailer. But WHAT bits they are! At around c. 1.40 mins Chris Evans’ oiled bazookas burst out of the instant stud machine he’s been strapped into by the German-Jewish Frank-N-furter. Everyone’s jaw in the lab slaps the floor as the cam­era trol­leys in for a wor­ship­ful close-up on those shiny, massive mel­ons. Injected with gal­lons of ster­oids and…read more

Sporno on Steroids

Posted by in advertising, commentary, metrosexual, sporno, sport

Now that’s what I call push­ing back. Taking the sporno trend to parts it hasn’t yet reached — and what parts! — while spread­ing the fam­ous French ‘pro’ tarti­ness of the Dieux du Stade cal­en­dars to these shores, the latest ad cam­paign for Powerade’s ‘InnerGear’ iso­tonic sports drink fea­tures sev­eral UK pro rug­ger bug­gers in the buff snapped by the phở­to­grapher Alan Clarke. Including, most spec­tac­u­larly, most spher­ic­ally, England Rugby Union Captain Steve Borthwick (above), keep­ing his spor­no­graphic end up for the Queen.  And nicely stuck out. Or as the gay porn…read more

5

The All-New, All-Tarty Gladiators

Posted by in commentary, masculinity, metrosexual, popular culture

Contenders, ready! Gladiators, ready! Cross-Your-Heart male bra, ready! It’s back. This week­end that naff 90s Saturday Night fam­ily enter­tain­ment staple Gladiators returns to British TV — though this time on sat­tel­ite and cable only. A few, pos­sibly super­flu­ous, obser­va­tions: It looks a lot kinkier. It looks, in fact, like a sub­urban fet­ish party. Rather ‘dark’, with a lot of leather and rub­ber and a lot of porno pout­ing — and that’s just the guys. The most pop­u­lar male Gladiator, ‘Spartan’, wears a skirt. Some of the men also seem to be wear­ing bras. It’s…read more

7

Size Hero: How Steroids & Muscle Marys Conquered the World

Posted by in commentary, metrosexual, sport, working class

Mark Simpson on how ster­oids got into our blood­stream and changed the shape of mas­culin­ity (Guardian CIF, 6 Dec, 2007) ‘Roids may sound as Eighties as Cher’s black-lace bod­ice. But they’re baaak, even big­ger and bustier than ever. According to a series of recent reports, ster­oids, or ‘juice’ or ‘gear’ to the ini­ti­ated, once an exotic drug of cheat­ing ath­letes and freaky body­build­ers have entered the main­stream and have become just another life­style product for young men: some boys as young as 12 are reportedly tak­ing the drug. And this des­pite the…read more

10

Copyright © 1994 - 2014 Mark Simpson All Rights Reserved.