Tag Archives: The Sun

We Loved You Really, Ronaldo

By Mark Simpson (col­lec­ted in Metrosexy) Cristiano Ronaldo, one of the best foot­ballers ever to play in this coun­try — and one of the best look­ing — brought out the worst in the English. He prickled you see, our ugly, mean-minded, spite­ful, spit­ting jeal­ousy. We were jeal­ous of his tal­ent, his looks, his body, his […]

Why The Sun Can’t Leave Ronaldo’s Legs Alone

Ere, Ron, The Sun’s just texted me. They want to know if you’ve got any smal­ler shorts.” Britain’s best-selling news­pa­per The Sun has been work­ing itself into a con­fused lather about our met­ro­sexual foot­ballers, again. Like me, it just can’t leave them alone. In a long, hand-wringing — and graph­ic­ally illus­trated — art­icle spread over the […]

I Wanna Hold Your Hand: Touchy-Feely Footballers

By Mark Simpson (Guardian CIF, 30/11/07) In an age of broad­band hard­core it’s rather sweet to dis­cover that men are still so eas­ily aroused. At least, that is, foot­ball fans and tabloid journ­al­ists. A little inno­cent hand-holding by Liverpool FC dur­ing a team-building train­ing ses­sion before their cru­cial Champions League match with Porto worked the […]

The Sun newspaper — how gay is it?

Why is Britain’s best-selling, sau­ci­est tabloid so unsure of its sexu­al­ity? Mark Simpson, the Guardian (August 24, 2007) The Sun’s TV critic Ally Ross is an unhappy camper. You see, he’s always bitch­ing about TV being ‘too gay’. Which is a rather pecu­liar thing for a TV critic to com­plain about. Perhaps his dad wanted him […]

I (Still) Want Your sex: The Sun & George Michael’s privates

In case you thought I was jok­ing when I wrote about the gen­tle­men of the British press being unable to leave George Michael’s penis alone, today’s Sun news­pa­per, twis­ted sis­ter tabloid to the News of the World scan­dal sheet that ran the ori­ginal front page Hampstead Heath expose, provides fur­ther, lurid proof of the ser­i­ous­ness of […]