A biography of the metrosexual.
By his dad.
Back in the flaky-skinned early Nineties Mark Simpson predicted the future of men was metrosexual. How the world scoffed. But a decade into the tarty Twenty First Century, even he’s shocked at just what hussies today’s males have become – and the shameless, fatal Jersey Shore that masculinity has washed up on.
In metrosexy Simpson collects together his essays chronicling the emergence from its closet of man’s desire to be desired. And just how terrifyingly insatiable it turned out to be. He takes a long look at men that long to be looked at and concludes that the masculine aesthetic revolution is only just beginning to get into its sashay.
“Contrary to what you have been told,” says Simpson, “metrosexuality is not about flip-flops and facials, man-bags or manscara. Or about men becoming ‘girlie’ or ‘gay’. It’s about men becoming everything. To themselves. In much the way that women have been for some time. It’s the end of the sexual division of bathroom and bedroom labour. It’s the end of sexuality as we’ve known it.”
In fact, metrosexuality is already so mainstream – so normal – it now has to go hardcore to attract our attention. So say hello to ‘sporno’, “where sport and gay porn get into bed while Mr Armani takes pictures.”
More fun-packed than Beck’s bulging briefs, The Situation’s six-pack, or Ronaldo’s ego, metrosexy will leave you gasping and giggling and gagging for more.
metrosexy is published on Kindle and is available for your instant downloading pleasure from:
‘Metrosexual Reflections’: edited version of the introduction to metrosexy published in the UK national The Independent and on Out.com
‘Mark Simpson Fathered a City of Metrosexuals’ Time Out London.
‘We’re All Transexy Now’: interview with Simpson in Portuguese national newspaper, Publico
‘Mâle Au Corps’: Simpson speaks to French national Liberation about metrosexy.
‘The New Frontier of Metrosexuality’: Interview with Simpson about metrosexy in Italian cultural magazine Studio. (English version here.)
‘I’m too sexy… for this article!’ Review of Metrosexy by g.p. leonardi at Finzioni magazine.
‘Scrape Me With a Strigil!’ Simpson confesses his bathroom habits to The Grooming Guru.
Sporno gallery on Facebook.
LMFAO kindly providing the Metrosexy soundtrack:
PRAISE FOR SIMPSON AND METROSEXY:
“Wildly intelligent and terrifyingly funny, his outlandish predictions on the fate of mankind have all proved unnervingly prescient. I dread to think what he might come up with next. Read him at your leisure but ignore him at your peril.”
- Jake Arnott
“The gay Anti-Christ”
“Much has been written about metrosexuals, but no one has done it as well as the man credited with coining the term, Mark Simpson.”
– The Times of India
“Simpson is one of our best cultural commentators. His gaze is unwavering. He sees the beauty and the beast that is masculinity ever turning. Better still he turns his insights into lascivious, luscious, laugh out loud prose. Have a go if you think you’re hard enough.”
– Suzanne Moore, Mail on Sunday & The Guardian
“I almost hate to agree with anything he says.”
– London Review of Books
“Once again Simpson applies his caustic wit to contemporary culture. He astonishes with the audacity of his insights even as he delights with the dazzle of his prose.”
– Michael Arditti
“Simpson writes with enough panache to make most of his contemporaries toss their laptops in the waste-disposal and weep.”
– Simon Price, Independent on Sunday
“Mark Simpson is a skinhead Oscar Wilde, his bon mots are both alarming and amusing, getting up people’s noses and inside their trousers with equal aplomb.”
– Philip Hensher
ABOUT MARK SIMPSON
It wasn’t however until Simpson introduced his insufferably pretty offspring to the US in 2002, naming David Beckham as the prime exemplar, that the word achieved global fame. Simpson is also attributed with introducing us to the ‘retrosexual’ (in the sense of the anti-metrosexual).
In 2010 the global cool-hunting/trend-spotting website Science of the Time described him as ‘the world’s most perceptive writer about masculinity’. In December 2008 GQ Russia listed him topless and oiled up in their top ten Things That Changed Men’s Lives, above Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sigmund Freud – and even Biotherm Homme. Both the New York Times and The London Times acclaimed his saucy concept of ‘Sporno’ as one of their ‘Ideas of the Year’.
Cover boy, David Williams ©2009 www.godsoffootball.com , photographer Pedro Virgil