Metrosexy shower


METROSEXY cover medium

A bio­graphy of the metrosexual.

By his dad.

avail­able in fine phys­ical & vir­tual form from amazon:

BACK IN THE FLAKY-SKINNED early Nineties Mark Simpson pre­dicted the future of men was met­ro­sexual. A couple of dec­ades on even he’s shocked by what hussies today’s males have become – and the shame­less, fatal Jersey Shore that mas­culin­ity has washed up on.

Metrosexy col­lects Simpson’s essays chron­ic­ling the emer­gence from his walk-in closet of man’s desire to be desired. And just how ter­ri­fy­ingly insa­ti­able it turned out to be. He takes a long look at men that long to be looked at, from met­ro­sexual poster boy David Beckham, to Daniel Craig’s busty James Bond, and con­cludes that the mas­cu­line aes­thetic revolu­tion is only just begin­ning to get into its sashay.

Contrary to what you’ve been told,” says Simpson, “met­ro­sexu­al­ity isn’t about flip-flops and facials, man-bags or man­scara. Or about men becom­ing ‘girlie’ or ‘gay’. It’s about men becom­ing everything. To them­selves. In much the way that women have been for some time. It’s the end of the sexual divi­sion of bath­room and bed­room labour. It’s the end of sexu­al­ity as we’ve known it.”

More fun-packed than Beck’s bul­ging briefs, The Situation’s six-pack — or Ronaldo’s ego — Metrosexy will leave you gasp­ing and gig­gling and gag­ging for more.


Metrosexy is avail­able in fine phys­ical book form here

 Metrosexy press




“Wildly intel­li­gent and ter­ri­fy­ingly funny, his out­land­ish pre­dic­tions on the fate of man­kind have all proved unnerv­ingly pres­ci­ent. I dread to think what he might come up with next. Read him at your leis­ure but ignore him at your peril.”

- Jake Arnott

“The gay Anti-Christ”


“Much has been writ­ten about met­ro­sexu­als, but no one has done it as well as the man cred­ited with coin­ing the term, Mark Simpson.”

The Times of India

“Simpson is one of our best cul­tural com­ment­at­ors. His gaze is unwaver­ing. He sees the beauty and the beast that is mas­culin­ity ever turn­ing. Better still he turns his insights into las­ci­vi­ous, lus­cious, laugh out loud prose. Have a go if you think you’re hard enough.”

– Suzanne Moore, The Guardian

“I almost hate to agree with any­thing he says.”

London Review of Books

“Once again Simpson applies his caustic wit to con­tem­por­ary cul­ture. He aston­ishes with the auda­city of his insights even as he delights with the dazzle of his prose.”

– Michael Arditti

“Simpson writes with enough pan­ache to make most of his con­tem­por­ar­ies toss their laptops in the waste-disposal and weep.”

– Simon Price, Independent on Sunday


Cover boy, David Williams ©2009 , pho­to­grapher Pedro Virgil