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 Achilles, Alexander, Jason, Odysseus - the fabulous scrapping, rutting warriors of the Ancient World fulfil every boy's own fantasy. But not any more. Independent on Sunday 19 December 2004 Edmund White is a veteran of gay-lib politics, and he can certainly write. But why do these essays make Mark Simpson want to mutter: 'Get you, Mary...'? - Independent on Sunday, 21 November 2004
Oscar Wilde gives a rare interview and reveals he is somewhat baffled by his contemporary fans – and their language. If only Achilles had got himself an agent and a mansion in Malibu. Mark Simpson laments the disappearance of heroes. Before the Thames-side inner London boroughs became places of lattes and loft apartments, they were the ancestral domain of the white working class. But as a new book points out, it's not fashionable to acknowledge that. We worship the body, watch ancient battles at the multiplex, and bow down before the gods of celebrity. Mark Simpson marvels at how much our culture owes to those skirt-wearing olive-munchers, the Greeks. CBS airs images of a dying Diana the same week her Speedo-sporting son makes a splash in the tabs. Salon.com April 23, 2004 Mark Simpson goes on a top secret mission to the bottom of the garden with Action Man - Independent on Sunday 14 March 2004 Mark Simpson is mystified by the aim of a book that obscures its author's own status - and anxiety - Independent on Sunday 07 March 2004 Bo and Luke, Ponch and Jon, Starsky and Hutch. Buddy TV ruled in the Seventies. But what was all that male bonding really about, asks Mark Simpson. And can a movie remake ever be half as cool, man? - Independent on Sunday 29 February 2004
MetroDaddy speaks!
In an interview (with himself) Mark Simpson, the man who introduced us to the term "metrosexual" explains why it conquered the culture, bemoans his own "lesbosexual" style, and critiques "Queer Eye," Howard Dean and Schwarzenegger The MP Chris Bryant may lose his seat after appearing in his pants on a gay website - but others see Gaydar as the future of dating. So what is it really like? Mark Simpson speaks with the (exhausted) voice of experience. Regardless of the truth of the allegations that no one in Britain has heard, the truly shocking thing argues Mark Simpson would be if a British, royal, public schoolboy and former military man had never enjoyed a spot of sodomy in his youth. - Salon.com Nov. 19, 2003 The US metrosexual makeover TV series ‘Queer Eye For the Straight Guy’ is coming to Britain but maybe gays aren't quite so 'fabulous' as straights want them to be. The daddy of the metrosexual Mark Simpson presents the case for the prosecution. In the 19th century the female nude supplanted the male. But the boy is back - and Germaine Greer's welcome to him, says Mark Simpson For a band who invented glam rock and punk - and remoulded the entire culture in their own image - the Rolling Stones are surprisingly lacking in insight. For Mark Simpson, it's the least cool players in the narrative who have the most to say. Independent on Sunday 21 September 2003 Mark Simpson on the rise and rise of ‘American air’. The Times Magazine 23/8/03 Kodachrome film was devised to flatter caucasian skin. Mark Simpson explains how 'colorisation' revolutionised our world. 'Independent on Sunday', 14/09/03 He's one of the most famous humans who has ever lived -- even though he's not that cute, not that smart and not that great a soccer player. Mark Simpson on the bizarre Beckham epidemic Salon.com 08/06/07 What happens when a giant brain meets Kylie Genius, pop Svengali, theoretician of cool: Mark Simpson gets to grips with the man who really listens to `La la la, la la la-la la...' Independent on Sunday 03/08/2003 A new 'stand up history of the French Revolution' is enough to make Mark Simpson take to the streets. As a counter-comedy reactionary. Is it possible to take Benito Mussolini seriously? Mark Simpson discovers that the clownish dictator always had ardent, frighteningly serious fans – and this biographer is another. Independent on Sunday 29 June 2003 Metrosexual? I think I've heard that one before... Why doesn't America love Robbie Williams? Especially when he love-hates himself so much? EMI's $120 million wannabe-Bowie megaflop symbolizes the desolate state of 21st century British pop culture, a realm of "wankers" and second-rate imitation Americans. Salon.com Isn't it about time Eminem grew up? Mark Simpson on the rapper who elevated spoilt tantrums into an art form. Independent on Sunday 27/04/2003 The mythology, the rituals, the dogma, the cult of masculinity and most of all the haircut, set the US Marines apart. Mark Simpson takes a timely look at a memoir of the Gulf War - first time around. Independent on Sunday 23/03/2003 A young man drowns in the pool of television's highest-paid entertainer. The star is branded a killer. But, says Mark Simpson, the case against the `OJ of Essex' doesn't add up. Now, as fresh evidence emerges, Michael Barrymore talks about that tragic night, his demons and why the facts weren't allowed to get in the way of a good story. The Independant on Sunday 2/3/2003 A touring exhibition of genuine "Star Trek" gimcracks reminds Mark Simpson of the immense virility of the original Shatner/Nimoy series -- and the p.c. limpness of all the spinoffs. Salon.com 26/2/03 Ingmar Bergman meets Arnie: Mark Simpson grapples with a Swedish intellectual down at the gym. Independent on Sunday 19/1/03 The lively tale of a charming bandit and proto-terrorist prompts Mark Simpson to wonder why we’re still thrilled by ruffians. -Independent on Sunday 5/1/03 Don't you dip your madeleine with me, Mr Mashed Potato Mark Simpson finds himself getting into character while reading Philippe Besson's 'In the Absence of Men' - Independent on Sunday 24 /11/02 While Britannia girds her loins to take on Saddam, Mark Simpson spends an evening patrolling the streets of Plymouth savouring the salty, rough-and-ready – and alas, fast fading – flavour of a traditional English Naval town. Now TV Soaps like Coronation Street are being used to teach foreigners about Britain and the English language, Mark Simpson wonders what kind of strange country they'll be expecting to find. St. Augustine or Sigmund: Which One's the Daddy? If Viagra has turned the penis into a `punctureproof balloon', does that mean it's not funny any more, wonders Mark Simpson - Independent on Sunday 27 Oct, 2002
Feminism may have triumphed, but Mark Simpson finds the denigration of men has as much to do with money as ideology. - Independent on Sunday 4 Aug, 2002 Heaven Knows if He's Miserable Now Later this month the former Smiths frontman Morrissey will be performing his first UK dates for years. He was recently named 'most influential artist ever' by the NME but is currently without a record contract. Mark Simpson wonders whether rehabilitation is in the air. - Independent on Sunday 1 Sept, 2002 "Outing someone is not a thing to be contemplated lightly, but I feel it is my duty to let the world know that David Beckham, role model to hundreds of millions of impressionable boys around the world, heartthrob for equal numbers of young girls, is not heterosexual after all. No, ladies and gents, the captain of the England football squad is actually a screaming, shrieking, flaming, metrosexual." - SALON.COM July 22, 2002 He's the funny guy famous for his deviant comic roles. So what is it about Jim Carrey, asks Mark Simpson, that makes him the perfect embodiment of American psychosis? Northern Royales vs Southern Royals Mark Simpson, descendent of the horned, beastly Vikings, muses about the way England could have been if only his home town had remained the capital. INDEPENDENT ON SUNDAY 18 February 2001 Why does the love story of Hadrian and Antinous seem so contemporary? Mark Simpson argues that we're all pagans now. INDEPENDENT ON SUNDAY It's official. It's grim down south. What those bloody northerners have been saying for years about London being dirty, overpriced and unfriendly is true. GUARDIAN, Saturday April 6, 2002 Does My Brain Look Big in This? Susan Sontag is a living legend. But if `camp is failed seriousness', as she suggests, just how successful is her own pose? INDEPENDENT ON SUNDAY, 20 January, 2002 Pre-eminent pectoralist Arnie is baak again in his new movie Collateral Damage, but Mark Simpson wonders whether the movie musclemen should head for the showers. Wilde's tragedy was that as a drama queen he was fatally outclassed by a family of batty Scottish aristocrats. Mark Simpson debunks Saint Oscar. Independent on Sunday, 24 March 2002 Do You Really Want to Hurt Me? "Yes," concludes Mark Simpson after seeing Boy George's new musical. Slit Trenches and Eternal Comradeship Mark Simpson can relate to an author's war fetish, but not to his fascination with Hemingway
Mark Simpson explains why camp is the crucial ingredient in today's hit TV shows Mark Simpson goes in search of a part of the South East coastline that still holds out against the London-based 'yuppie commandos'. THE TIMES MAGAZINE, March 2001 Shriek it From the Rooftops, Possums Mark Simpson confesses to having an affair with a drag queen called the Dame Edna Experience at South London's Royal Vauxhall Tavern. INDEPENDENT ON SUNDAYy, October, 2001 Cast Off Your Calvin Kleins and Be Healed Mark Simpson discovers an American psychiatrist who claims gay men can 'reprogram' themselves to be straight. INDEPENDENT ON SUNDAY, 13 May 2001 A Touch of Northern Soul From a Cracking Liver Girl Mark Simpson sees Mel C at Sheffield City Hall INDEPENDENT ON SUNDAY, 17 September 2000 Monty: my part in his downfall So Monty was a repressed homosexual. This comes as no surprise to this former Territorial Army soldier, who experienced at first hand the love that dare not speak its name, rank and serial number. INDEPENDENT ON SUNDAY, May 2001 Mark Simpson hails a haughty voice crying in the wilderness of contemporary culture. Mark Simpson gets to grips with a right wing historian’s vital statistics. Mark Simpson joins a radio comedy workshop and discovers the secret of how to make people laugh INDEPENDENT ON SUNDAY, 13 August 2000 Mark Simpson takes a spade to Julie Burchill's new novel Married Alive. Jew-Envy and other Jungian Complexes Mark Simpson puts Carl Gustav on the couch. SCOTLAND ON SUNDAY, 1998. |
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