Catholijism: Rome’s Answer to Sporno?

Holy Mary, Mother of God!  Is nothing sacred?

After the shameless, pagan idolatry of the Dieux Du Stade sporno calendars, some shameless Catholic idolatry in the form the Calendario Romano.

Certainly, the images are inspiring.  I mean, who wouldn’t want to kneel before these divine young men and receive the body of Christ?

Perhaps because of its classical antecedents, the Mother Church has always understood the power of beautiful things  – and beautiful young men – to arouse the faithful: whether or not the unmarried status of priests means they are closer to God it undoubtedly means there’s nothing between the congregation and a devoted, passionate attachment to the star of the smells and bells show.

In fact, the celibacy of priests probably provided the inspiration for the official singleness of contemporary boyband members (not to mention former celibate but still officially single Morrissey, who has even appeared onstage dressed as a priest).

But it’s a sign of the times – and Rome’s total impotence in the world of images that it used to completely control – that we now have priests being presented as boy-band members, and apparently loving it. This Massturbatory material may not be officially sanctioned, but in suggesting a Vatican directed by Cadinot, a Romasexual Christianity in which sensuality and carnality are acknowledged and celebrated, a world in which priests want to be pouting pin-ups, it suddenly makes Catholicism seem almost vital – and, that most modern, most holy of accolades, sexy.

Which in turn only makes you fully realise how beyond salvation it is.

Tip:  Bruce Benderson and Shelley 

8 Replies to “Catholijism: Rome’s Answer to Sporno?”

  1. What’s confessional like on a kneeler with these babes?
    A kind of out of body, I suppose.

    And what happens if, as a way of saying hello on a Sunday morn, or evening vespers…or in the street,
    you lick your thumb, smush it against your upper derriere, and “tssssss”?
    More confessional, I suppose.
    Or exorcism. A great excuse to invite them over.

  2. Morrissey was so sexy as a priest.

    Just thought I’d mention that.

    You probably thought so too, of course!

    I really want one of the Catholic calendars. Yum.

  3. Just got ‘Catholijism’. Made me snort vodka out my nose I laghed so hard. Bravo! Brilliant.

  4. The T-Horn Birds, yummy calendar action by which I can mark all the saints birthdays etc…next we’ll have rosaries with each bead having a yummy priest photo embedded on it ~ which I can tightly wrap around my…
    kneel & prepare to take the body of christ,
    D

  5. Oh yeah these are great. It probably plays into that “bored & lonely wife + cultured & fascinating but unavailable priest” sexual tension that The Sopranos exploited so well in the first or second season. Some chicks love their bad boys, some chicks love their very, very, very good boys.

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