The 'Daddy' of the Metrosexual, the Retrosexual, & spawner of the Spornosexual

Mormo Missionaries

I won’t even ask the question. Nothing is sacred. Save being sexy.

A while back I wrote about Catholijism, the rather queer phenomenon of hunky priests of the Church of Rome posing for a spunky Calendar along the lines of those naughty French rugby Sporno calendars.


Not one to be outdone, the Church of the Latter Day Saints is going one better than the Church of the Earlier, Mustier Saints and muscling in on this profanity with bigger pectorals.

Hallelujah! Here comes ‘Men on a Mission’ a saucy (if unofficial) new calendar featuring some impressively worked-out clean-cut young Mormons in various ‘spiritual’ poses. I for one am converted. Just send a couple of those lads round, topless, and I’ll sign anything. I’ll even give up tea.

Who needs caffeine when you can have this kind of divine stimulation?

Damien Mulley’s fun blog suggests dubbing this phenomona ‘Mormno’, after ‘Sporno’. Which is nice, but I suspect that’s a bit of a mouthful for most people – and not the kind they’re looking for. So perhaps drop the ‘n’ and just call it ‘Mormo’.

It’s Mormographically obvious.

Meanwhile, I’m still waiting to be knocked up. I’ve not received a single visit from those Mormon angels – even the ones who look more earthly than heavenly. My soul cries out. Is there a number you can call?

Or do you think they’ve already got me down on their ‘Beyond Salvation – Avoid! Avoid!’ list?