The 'Daddy' of the Metrosexual, the Retrosexual, & spawner of the Spornosexual

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Keane Fury Over Roasting Romp

I don’t blame Keane for being furious. I’m positively seething myself that no one invited me either.


‘Stars in sick orgy’ (strapline to the print version – doesn’t appear online)

Another example of how sporno is fast becoming porno – or is porno becoming sporno?

Tabloid newspapers in the UK can’t get enough of these faux-outraged ‘roasting’ stories about the ‘scandal’, ‘disgrace’ and ‘sickness’ of several fit young professional footballers sharing one consenting ‘busty female fan’, simultaneously. Illustrated, if possible – as in this case – with tantalisingly blurry shots from the (no doubt dodgily acquired) home-made porno movie.

Why? It sells. The tabloid readers, male and female – but particularly male – love it. It delivers to them the realisation of the fantasy at the heart of so much sport today: the sports star as porn star. Porn that is, like team sport itself, ever so slightly homoerotic.

This is after all, porn involving rather more sporting pricks than groupie pussy – in this case, three or four footballing studs on one accommodating lady, and some male spectators, cheering them on.

It’s not exactly ‘gay’ – but it’s not terribly ‘straight’ either.

But I wouldn’t want to suggest that these footballers were any different to most lads today. They seem quite normal to me. The footballing lads are probably recreating the ‘straight’ gang-bang many-penised porn increasingly popular with young men – and which more and more features, like most hetero porn, attractive and athletic young men instead of merely a fat hairy penis attached to a fat hairy faceless fuck as in the past.

Footballers are certainly not short of enough groupies to go around – but the deluge of these tabloid ‘roasting’ stories would indicate that they often prefer to share.

And why not? If you spend all that time training and playing and showering and partying with fit mates then why shouldn’t you want to seem them in action? And film them on the job as well? Especially when they’re so keen to show off.

All things considered, it’s just as well that male bisexuality and bi-curiousness ‘doesn’t exist’.

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