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Aussie Rules Football Surrenders to Sporno

Dolce & Gabbana’s latest sporno campaign for their Intimo men’s underwear line (below), employing eager, wide-shouldered chaps from their national team to stretch their designer cotton, seems to have taken inspiration from the tarty antics of the swimmers at last year’s Olympics, peeling their swimsuits off to flash their ‘cum gutters’ at the world (or was it just me?).

Dolce & Gabbana Intimo underwear 2009-3

I certainly wouldn’t mind a few lengths with any or all of them, but I can’t help but wonder whether D&G might not have had a more spornographic impact if they’d used instead some of these Aussie Rules footballers from Down Under to stretch and pitch their product: they’ve just appeared in a ‘Gods of Football’ sporno calendar clearly inspired by Dieux du Stade, if not actually paying homo-homage (see below).

Though maybe it’s all just a matter of taste.  Or positioning.  There’s definitely something about Aussie Rules Footie that makes for butts that sit up and beg for attention. And they’re certainly getting it from me. The photographer Pedro Virgil, has expertly exploited this ‘asset’ to the full and made these extraordinarily athletic arses the stars of the calendar.

MichaelOsborneGodsofFootbal[6]

‘Where are you planning on putting that big lens?’ asks Michael Osbourne

John-Williams-Gods-of-Football-2009[6]

John Williams contemplates his career profile and clenches, while the setting sun – and our eyes – stroke his thighs.

TRAVIS BURNS Gods of Football

Travis Burns has cleverly tattooed his name on the back of his arm so we’ll know whose arse we’re staring at. And book him again.

gods-of-football-calendar-3[6]

The obligatory barn and shower scenes

Gods of Football 2009 Chair Reclining

‘Do with me what you will! (But speak to my agent first, OK?)’

 

Tip: D.A. Krolak

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