The buff chap with the stuck-on beard above was recently kicked out of a football game in Florida for daring to wear as little on the stands as the cheerleaders do on the pitch. Boo! American Speedophobia strikes again!

It wouldn’t happen in Oz, home of the budgie smuggler and anything-but-shy spornographic rugby players.

And where, with the launch of Amazon.co.au, Mark Simpson Kindle titles are now available to download!