TV

Fauxstralian Britain

 Mark Simpson on how we’re all Australian now   (One from the vaults, originally appeared in the Guardian Guide, 2001 – at what now looks like Oz’s cultural high-water mark) If you listen carefully to the soundtrack on Puppetry of the Penis, a video of the show which recently toured Britain to sell-out audiences in which two Australian men, one with long frizzy hair, the other with a handlebar moustache, make their genitalia do impressions of hamburgers and vaginas, you will hear people laughing. Not… Read More »Fauxstralian Britain

Welcome to the Hotel Scopophilia

Mark Simpson checks out The Voyeur’s Motel I recently watched a documentary on Netflix. Which is what I seem to mostly do, TV-wise, these days – being middle-aged and male. This one wasn’t about Hitler, or unsolved grisly murders, or steam trains, however. It was called Voyeur. So, I think you can probably understand what drew my dirty old eye. Despite the lack of any actual visual filth, it was firmly fascinating. Voyeuristically. I’m not generally into the ‘older male’ – especially now I’m fast… Read More »Welcome to the Hotel Scopophilia

“Yo Bitches! Wanna Bit of That?” – Six Pack Superstars

C4 recently aired a series about pro spornos – called ‘Six Pack Superstars‘. It follows young men and women ‘influencers’ and wannabes in the fitness business preparing for their competitions. Like Bromans it’s mostly about the male spornos – they are after all the ones with the spectacular bodies. Though there is an undisputed female star of the show – Audrey Kaipio, ‘the UK’s number one posing coach’ (from Canada), a woman who seems to play something of a dominatrix role while teaching bodybuilders and… Read More »“Yo Bitches! Wanna Bit of That?” – Six Pack Superstars

Metrosexmania: How America Lost Its Mind Over Metrosexuality

By Mark Simpson (Originally appeared in Out magazine, October 2017) The US had a national nervous breakdown over male beauty in the early noughties. It seems ridiculous now – and actually it was fairly ridiculous at the time – but it’s simply an objective fact that the US went completely fucking berserk over the metrosexual: my insufferably pretty offspring with the really great, hydrated skin. Not since the Beatles had a British import caused so much screaming – and so much moral panicking. In 2003… Read More »Metrosexmania: How America Lost Its Mind Over Metrosexuality

Friends, Bromans, Countrymen, Lend Me Your Rears

Mark Simpson on the decline and fall of male modesty Telly seems to have been hacking my brain lately. The filthiest parts. Just when you thought ITV2, the people who brought us Love Island couldn’t get any more spornographic, and the underdressed, over-muscled guys they insist on making us ogle entirely against our will couldn’t get any sluttier, along comes Bromans. A gladiator-themed reality game show about ‘modern geezers in the time of Caesar’ that seems intent on taking sporno back to its sword-and-sandals (‘S&M’… Read More »Friends, Bromans, Countrymen, Lend Me Your Rears