Micro Tight Beach Buns

I should probably pretend that I have something interesting to say about this ad for Leorever ‘micro tight’ compression shorts, starring a young blond, pneumatic spornosexual (Michael Dean Johnson) working out on a beach in wet, super-clingy spandex, and covered in baby oil. But, aside from noting that they had to shoot this ad on a completely deserted beach because it’s shot in the US and the US is Speedophobic, I don’t. Truth is, I’m just sitting here doing this: While imagining myself as the… Read More »Micro Tight Beach Buns

Tom Daley Comes Out – As Happy

In the affecting, intimate-yet-professional YouTube clip above, a slightly red-eyed and emotional Tom Daley, the Olympic medal winning British diver and best thing to happen to Speedos since Mark Spitz, says he was misquoted in an interview earlier this year in which he appeared to deny he was gay (albeit insisting he wouldn’t be ashamed if he was). He went on to make an announcement that you have probably already read about. ‘Now I feel ready to talk about my relationships. And come spring my life… Read More »Tom Daley Comes Out – As Happy

American Speedophobia Strikes Again

  The buff chap with the stuck-on beard above was recently kicked out of a football game in Florida for daring to wear as little on the stands as the cheerleaders do on the pitch. Boo! American Speedophobia strikes again! It wouldn’t happen in Oz, home of the budgie smuggler and anything-but-shy spornographic rugby players. And where, with the launch of Amazon.co.au, Mark Simpson Kindle titles are now available to download!

Speedophobia: America’s Fear & Loathing of Budgie Smuggling

Mark Simpson undresses the tortured relationship between American men and their swimsuits PROHIBITED… THE WEARING OF SKIN-TIGHT FORM-FITTING OR BIKINI TYPE APPAREL OR BATHING SUITS BY MALES OVER 12 YRS. AGE If the stern, killjoy rubric of this warning sign, erected in the 1960s by the good people of Cape May, N.J., sounds like a way to rain on a gay beach party, that’s because it was. Cape May, a resort town a few hours south of New York City by car, had become a… Read More »Speedophobia: America’s Fear & Loathing of Budgie Smuggling