spornosexual

Ronaldo’s Coming Home

Football may not be coming home, after England’s Euros finals defeat earlier this year. But football’s greatest star, and perhaps the world’s most famous face and body, is going to be ‘back where I belong’. In England. According to his recent Insta post (336m followers). The striking Portuguese striker Cristiano Ronaldo is returning, in total triumph, from Juventus to the place where he began his international career, Manchester United FC – with a two year contract: a cool 20M Euros for those hot lallies. Now… Read More »Ronaldo’s Coming Home

Cristiano Ronaldo’s Insta-Lovefest

The world’s most famous man this week became the first person to pass 250 million followers on Instagram. A milestone in human e-volution. Already the most popular personality on social media, 35-year-old Cristiano Ronaldo is now just rubbing our noses in it. The Juventus star has 100 million more followers than all 20 Premier League clubs combined. His arch-rival Lionel Messi trails way behind him, in seventh place, with ‘only’ 174 million followers. Obviously they’re not posting enough totally shredded topless pics. The five-time Ballon… Read More »Cristiano Ronaldo’s Insta-Lovefest

Goodbye, Mr Bond – Hello Buff New World

Mark Simpson on how Sean Connery’s ‘overgrown stuntman’ sired a generation of young men licenced to thrill So, Mr Bond finally did what Mr Goldfinger expected him to do. Even if it took 56 years. This October, two months after his 90th birthday, Sir Thomas Sean Connery, the first, most definitive, most popular, most alluring, most stirring incarnation of the unshaken British secret agent, died. Connery made six official and one unofficial Bond films. And of course, many more non-Bond films, some of them classics,… Read More »Goodbye, Mr Bond – Hello Buff New World

Egypt’s Spornosexual Pride Parade (Police Academy Section)

The young men of the Egyptian Police Academy put on a pec-tacular display this week in Cairo, surrounded by — and perched on — the butch toys that come with the job. It’s easy to snigger, but it’s definitely not easy to stay rigidly most muscular on those moving tanks, speed-boats and wobbly triple decker floats slick with baby oil. Am I the only person that thought some of those floats looked like swole sweet trolleys? “We can now see a group of vehicles with… Read More »Egypt’s Spornosexual Pride Parade (Police Academy Section)

Micro Tight Beach Buns

I should probably pretend that I have something interesting to say about this ad for Leorever ‘micro tight’ compression shorts, starring a young blond, pneumatic spornosexual (Michael Dean Johnson) working out on a beach in wet, super-clingy spandex, and covered in baby oil. But, aside from noting that they had to shoot this ad on a completely deserted beach because it’s shot in the US and the US is Speedophobic, I don’t. Truth is, I’m just sitting here doing this: While imagining myself as the… Read More »Micro Tight Beach Buns